Showing posts with label what happens in jozi.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label what happens in jozi.... Show all posts
9/19/08
9/2/08
DIARY
The Joburg Diary II
Last week Sunday I arrived in Joburg Park Station to no fanfare. Minutes later, after calling a comrade named V who was also in Jozi but at a separate hotel and for a different reason my taxi arrived and whisked me off to High Street in Berea where after being shown my room I struggle to secure a cup of tea due to my throbbing headache which usually comes with prolonged periods of no-caffeine intoxication. I move out to the corner café to get myself a can of Coke which I gulp in a rush. I get back to my hotel, watch soccer on television and don’t like it when Sundowns wins.
Earlier on my way in I met two leftist activists George Dor and someone I don’t know who both asked me about V, since they figured I might be leftist due to my Mau-Mau T-shirt.
At around 17h00 I meet one of the guys (we’ll call him S) who is here for the same reason, an investigative journalism course I’m doing with Wits Journalism. I look around for that chick I told you about in the last entry to begin my Part II but she ain’t here. All I see is a bunch of Rastafarians who look at me with suspision. The lady I wanted to shag is not here. Fine. At this point I’m approaching 100 days of celibacy and I feel relieved that there’s no one to mess up my record with.
Later on the night I go to have dinner and there I meet S and we dish out and sit down and he sees a brownish chick with dreadlocks and invites her to join us on our table and she comes and he starts chatting her about relieving her stress with massage (let’s call her J). It’s okay, that’s his style as I observe that the chick likes his predictable approach. If I was a chick I wouldn’t fall for that.
Soon, after leftist activist Dennis Brutus has sat at the same table and dished himself vegetables and a cup of tea only, another woman (we’ll call her Z), light complexioned ,pretty beautiful with blonde hair who seems lost comes through and dishes and we invite her to our table and she sits at the table. I pull her a chair and I provide cutlery and seasonings for her and we start making friends. I’m a little probing, what do you do for a living? Where do you work? Why are you here? Tell me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are? Well, that’s me, it doesn’t work all the time you know.
J tells S that she is a scriptwriter for Generations, she also works at a radio station, she also does interior decorating, she also does make-up, she also has seven cellphones and a million other things. Well fine, she also happens to have a boyfriend in Hillbrow which she wants to visit with S. She also says she’s not black but coloured even though she’s darker than me. S wants a screw and he plays ball. Well, me I want something from Z but it definitely is not a screw, something deeper, something profound, something with far-reaching consequences than a spasm. I am chasing 100 runs remember?
My talk with Z suddenly reveals that she is here for a two weeks long ABC Ulwazi radio course. Okay, suddenly we change topics and talk about sensitive stuff which would give me an excuse to touch her without raising red flags. I’m good at this, please be careful with your woman when I’m around.
Two hours of consuming five litres of water later J and S come back from Hillbrow, time is around 22h32. They move upstairs and say they will be back to join us. “Let’s go continue our conversation in either mine or your room”, I suggest. I touch her hand gently as I lift her to the second floor.
Arriving on the second floor Z opts that we go to her room instead of mine. Fine. In her room it’s all good and she hasn’t unpacked her bags yet. We talk a lot about her stay in
The following morning it’s work and work and work as the chick I fancied screwing pitches from somewhere in Jozi. She’s not sleeping in the hotel this time, which is good.
In the afternoon one of the guys we are attending with (I’ll call her T) decides we should get sloshed at his expense tonight . We go to Hillbrow, me, him, S and a Zimbabwean journalist we’ll call D. We get there and we buy Three Ships Whisky and a case of beer for a night of binging.
Back at the hotel we have our dinner with a bunch of chicks from
Earlier on before binging we tried to have the
On Tuesday the one I would have loved to screw rocks up from her Joburg hideout and it’s work and work again at Wits.
Late in the evening after dinner I decide that me and the folks shall get sloshed again and it’s my treat. We go to Yeoville’s
We chill in S’s room and drink. This night he is not really with us but keeps going out with J who came in just as we were relaxing to watch Cheaters and demanded to see him in her room. S comes back when me and T are now going for our second last pint and T asks him if he did it and he says no ways and he enquires and S says that the robot is red. T wants to know if he investigated and he says, ‘yeah’
Wednesday is a little hectic because now we have to go to Lindela Repatriation Camp and visit refugees about to be sent to their homelands. The trip never materialises and we end up being traumatised at the Crown Mines Refugee Reception Centre where we see security people ill-treating people simply because they come from troubled parts of the globe.
After our Wits session I leave for Randburg with Your Honour to hook up with my ex who lives somewhere along the area. I don’t get to see her as my call keeps being terminated. It’s fine as my number two goal is to visit Your Honour’s crib. We got to his crib and munched biltong which he also hooked me with. He drove me back to
T is gone, so is D. I’m left with S who is in a mood of his own as he now realises that he’s not going to screw anyone, let alone J who obviously has six more days to flag.
Later I walk past Z who is sitting with a bunch of folks who are also attending the radio course with her. After she left I go to them and sit down only to introduce myself and get their contacts for a project I am doing on a newspaper in
After getting their details I move to my room and sit where S finds me and we chill, no beer, no thing and we talk about women and stuff until 23h00 which, after he left I pack my bag readying myself for my long journey home the following day.
Morning comes and I go for my breakfast, hook up with Z, who looks sad to see me go since she’ll be here for one more week. I can see the folks who didn’t like me are happy to see me carrying my bags out of the hotel. Z gives me a hug as I move to my shuttle. Me and S are driven to the Park Station and four hours later I’m in Nelspruit having a drink at Paddy’s Tavern with my
Two hours later I’m home, having a cup of coffee before my gym session. So, nothing happened in Jozi really.
PS. WHAT NEVER MADE IT INTO THE STORY.
Za, my beautiful friend and business partner who’ll be designing my clothes from now on came through on Tuesday and I introduced her to the folks and S fumbled that he loved her and we went to my room to plot her rise to the top of the fashion industry as she left S with her cellphone from which he was listening to Za’s music. It’s nice being with Za, she’s warm, smart, sophisticated and shrewd. We never sparked a joint like we do most of the time, which was good given that she says she’s busy with exams. We just sat and talked before she left.
On Tuesday D was not there as he went out to drink with his expatriate community in Hillbrow. Pictures on his digital camera the day later showed that he was having a ball, the full three evils.
The ex I went to see in Randburg the night before called me in the morning while I was at the station and apologised for the complication. I still love her you know. By the way I’ll be back in Jozi next weekend on the 14th and I hope for better days. 100 days is a record don’t you think?
8/4/08
DIARY
Joburg City highlights
My confession; I haven't liked a lot of brainy type chicks who excel only in crossword puzzles and nothing in-between. I don't do bimbos, thank you, since I have had a lot of those in my life already. But then Joburg last week revealed to me that there's a woman I think I like. I can't put cash on this hunch but I think it's not misguided. Not because she's the most beautiful wow-chick in the whole wide world but because she's got finesse.
She also has got a portable torso, which I like. Not because I can wrap it in one tangle but because she smelled so damn good. I like things that smell good that's why I have a flower garden next to my bedroom window. One evening was spent cuddling her and having interesting pillow talk which left no doubt in my mind that if we met in another lifetime we would've taken off like a house on fire.
We have many similarities as well. She says she's got a son who is a few months older than my daughter. This simply means that in 2005 we were both seriously bonking. She's smart and we technically draw our cash from the same cow. The cuddling was on Tuesday night after I came back from Hillbrow. The next day we cuddled again after after leaving her alone at 23h00 the previous night without even proposing a screw. I still don't know how I came to love and leave her without even sticking my tongue in her mouth.
Maybe her honesty disarmed me. In retrospect it's fine because it saved from being thrown from the second floor or shot through the eyes with a Beretta after avoiding her boyfriend by nine seconds. I was just walking out of her room, after putting on my shoes following one hour of good talk under her single bed covers. Just after strolling out I met boyfriend who has just turned a corner at a passage and couldn't establish whether I came from down the passage or the room next door. I said 'hi' and he responded with serious suspicion.
It could have been worse because the night before I left the same room I did not bother to put my shoes on but was holding them all the way to my room. Well, I'll be with the same intelligent-chick later this month and I plan to see her birthmark (ha-ha-ha)
Joburg also reestablished my connection to my business partner and chomi, Za. I spent Monday evening with her and a poet-friend smoking sticky weed on the balcony of my room. Before I got to Jozi I asked her to hook me up a joint and she ended up dishing four toxic blunts that left me about to bleed through the nose.
That's Part One and Two of me and Za - and a friend.
On my way home on Thursday, while couched up in my coach I met a Portuguese senhora who was so nice and smelled so bloody great she had to sit next to me. Over four hours of journeying I went on the offensive and just befroe Mataffin we were so advanced friends that my tongue was automatically prodding her tonsils with lust. She's the reason I'm learning Portuguese. 'Eu perder você Mami'
When I arrived in Jozi on Sunday Cochran was the man who drove me from Park Station to Berea. I didn't need to give him too many details as his Global Positioning System took us through the hussle and buzzle of the city to my crib at Berea. I'm back in Jozi later this month, and hey, you never know what happens. I might OD and die there or bleed through the nose until I die.
My confession; I haven't liked a lot of brainy type chicks who excel only in crossword puzzles and nothing in-between. I don't do bimbos, thank you, since I have had a lot of those in my life already. But then Joburg last week revealed to me that there's a woman I think I like. I can't put cash on this hunch but I think it's not misguided. Not because she's the most beautiful wow-chick in the whole wide world but because she's got finesse.
She also has got a portable torso, which I like. Not because I can wrap it in one tangle but because she smelled so damn good. I like things that smell good that's why I have a flower garden next to my bedroom window. One evening was spent cuddling her and having interesting pillow talk which left no doubt in my mind that if we met in another lifetime we would've taken off like a house on fire.
We have many similarities as well. She says she's got a son who is a few months older than my daughter. This simply means that in 2005 we were both seriously bonking. She's smart and we technically draw our cash from the same cow. The cuddling was on Tuesday night after I came back from Hillbrow. The next day we cuddled again after after leaving her alone at 23h00 the previous night without even proposing a screw. I still don't know how I came to love and leave her without even sticking my tongue in her mouth.
Maybe her honesty disarmed me. In retrospect it's fine because it saved from being thrown from the second floor or shot through the eyes with a Beretta after avoiding her boyfriend by nine seconds. I was just walking out of her room, after putting on my shoes following one hour of good talk under her single bed covers. Just after strolling out I met boyfriend who has just turned a corner at a passage and couldn't establish whether I came from down the passage or the room next door. I said 'hi' and he responded with serious suspicion.
It could have been worse because the night before I left the same room I did not bother to put my shoes on but was holding them all the way to my room. Well, I'll be with the same intelligent-chick later this month and I plan to see her birthmark (ha-ha-ha)
Joburg also reestablished my connection to my business partner and chomi, Za. I spent Monday evening with her and a poet-friend smoking sticky weed on the balcony of my room. Before I got to Jozi I asked her to hook me up a joint and she ended up dishing four toxic blunts that left me about to bleed through the nose.That's Part One and Two of me and Za - and a friend.
On my way home on Thursday, while couched up in my coach I met a Portuguese senhora who was so nice and smelled so bloody great she had to sit next to me. Over four hours of journeying I went on the offensive and just befroe Mataffin we were so advanced friends that my tongue was automatically prodding her tonsils with lust. She's the reason I'm learning Portuguese. 'Eu perder você Mami'
When I arrived in Jozi on Sunday Cochran was the man who drove me from Park Station to Berea. I didn't need to give him too many details as his Global Positioning System took us through the hussle and buzzle of the city to my crib at Berea. I'm back in Jozi later this month, and hey, you never know what happens. I might OD and die there or bleed through the nose until I die.
6/11/08
TRUE
Whatever Happens in Jozi...
Starring; Me, Dido, The Twins & the Enterpreneur
Guest Appearances; Miss Stone, Two Cousins, Russel & Mapulaneng Collective
Directed by: Kasiekulture
Joburg can be a nice city if you made it a point to call the Travel Advisory before visiting it. Here they will tell you about the weather forecast, rand/dollar exchange rate, xenophobia hotspots and brothels. Best, they will even sms you the hottest gay nightspots. Me and Dido did it and were told that we should not come on own cars but take a bus. We took a bus, made it outside of Mpumalanga, got to George's Restaurant that people like to call Wonderfontein, bought our hot dogs, iced tea with Ginseng (Oriental chigwana), a copy of True Love magazine and Saturday Star.
We got to Joburg Park Station after 15h00 and gave a holler to the Enterpreneur to come collect us for a drive to Leondale in the East Rand. Now the E is a very busy man who however will not be busy for us since he's my second cousin and Dido's closest buddy. The E tells us we must move to the second floor at Buffallo Bills and wait there while we quench our thirst. Buffallo Bills is packed as Bafana Bafana is playing Guinea. We sit down and a chubby waitress approaches and we place our order. I want my green bottled cider and Dido is for Jameson double tot. We gulp at least seven same poisons both ways before the E pitches with two Cousins, Russel and one-half of the Twins. We are thinking this is the point where the moneyman should settle our phat bill. He's excited and says 'we'll sit down and order one before we leave'. Nice, I go for my eighth 350ml and we start chatting. The other cousin is all for juice and sits suspicioiusly as if he works for National Intelligence Agency. We talk shit and two hours later we have had our many drinks, ate lots of biltong and made half a dozen trips to the loo. Bufallo Bills is getting empty as well. We call the bills and when the waitress wants to know who foots the E is quick saying, 'I am Tito Mboweni'. Fine, when he sees it he almost chokes. But he foots while we are sitting on our bulding wallets.
We leave the station, Dido, Russel and me travel in the latest Beemer 1Series of the E while the cousins choose the A3 of the one-half of the twins. We leave park station and are headed for Hillbrow where the other half rents a bachelor flat he never lives in but is exclusively reserved for Vall Triangle skanks. As we leave the station we see a police bakkie trailing us. When we get to Hillbrow it stops opposite us on the traffic light. We drive past Fontana Inn and just after taking the right turn the blue lights are on and heavily armed cops demand that we walk out of the car. The E, the driver walks out first and one cop in civilian clothes has his R5 pointed at us while the other one points his 9mm Pietro Beretta. The third one is a Metro cop and he approaches us as the R5 one demands that we put our hands on the car. It's a cold Joburg night and the streets are lit and suddenly everyone is looking as the cops conduct body searches. Fortunately for me I don't have rolled joints on me. They search us thoroughly, me twice since I have put on multi-pocket cargo pants, a turtle neck and a leather jacket. While this is happening some guy wants to walk past and the R5 cop tells him to change his route and as he tries to walk past the cop misses him with a kick that would have made Jet Li proud. The search is over and we tell them we appreciate the hard work they are doing keeping Hillbrow crime-free.
We then drive 100 metres away next to Johannesburger Hotel.
Immediately after parking Miss Stone appears from the entrance. Me and Dido are surprised because this is a skank we last saw in Shatale two weeks ago and who some guy told us that he chocolate-boxed her. Suddenly she's excited and asks us when did we arrive and we say a week earlier and that we actually come from Botswana today. She's happy and the E now wants to screw her. He sets the ball in motion and they agree that he will sleep in her flat tonight which is at Century Plaza where the other half's flat is at . Russel takes our bags to the other half's flat. Then we leave for Leondale in the East Rand. The other half and the cousins are remaining in town to scout for hos.
In the East Rand before we could go to Number 5, the E drives to his other chick's home to fetch her for a night out. The chick comes out with her half-brother who loves riding in a car he can sell his granny for a ride in a taxi. We pick the two of them, the E introduces us and calls her 'Njabulo', to me she's another skank out for a phat 17-incher. Apparently it's a general term he uses for all his chicks. We drive to his home at Number 5 and find the other half of the twins that was not in town. He's almost sleeping and we chat briefly. The E, comes out and gives us the keys to his Ford Ranger double cab and says it's the car me and Dido will use for the night. Fine, me and Dido sit in there while it's idling and we are heating it since it's very cold. Soon we drive behind the E on our way to Jo'burg. As we approach the lights we call him to find out where are we going and he says Newtown. Time is 10h28 and we tell him we haven't eaten anything since getting to town. He proposes we go to Braamfontein.
We follow him and when we get to Braamfontein we find the other half and the cousins already there. I make a call to a sista I know who lives in Hillbrow to say what's up? She's fine, she asks me where I'm staying and I tell her in Hillbrow and she says she's in Tshwane but will call tomorrow when she comes back to the city of sin.
Okay, the place we decide to eat at is called Pantsula's Bite and it's actually almost a club with a DJ to boot. We chill, place our order of chicken and rice and spinach and butternut. While having drinks the food comes and only me and Dido eats our rations while the rest are not hungry. After that the music is good, the plasma is beaming soccer highlights from yesteryear and the booze is flowing and we decide 'fuck it' we are staying here. The place is almost packed with guys and their chicks. We booze and chat amid the noise until 02h46 when we finally decide to leave. The E has his chick from Leondale, and so is the other half who we found hooked when we arrived at the joint. Russel and the cousins are gonna be bachelors tonight.
We leave with Russel now for our flat in Hillbrow, get there, bribe the security guard and access underground parking. We are sloshed and tired and immediately brush our teeth and sleep.
Morning comes and we plan to go to a networking session in Leondale which is the main reason we are in Jozi. We splash separately, I make myself a cup of coffee and sandwitches and stand by the window and shoot pictures of the rot. Russel comes in to rush us saying the E is calling him wanting to know at what time will we get to Leondale. Okay, soon after Russel left Miss Stone pitches in. We chill with her while I make myself my second cup of coffee. Me and Dido flatter her a little and she loves it. Then we walk out with Russel for the u
nderground parking. We drive out and have to wait for a bunch of natives who are going to Leondale with us. It's now three chicks and five guys who look like members of a punk group.
As Dido drives through Ellis Park there's a roadblock by Joburg Metro Police. They wave us aside and tell Dido that the Ranger has unpaid fines. They ask for his driver's license which he doesn't have with him. They tell him the guys were sitting on the rim of the base and call him for citation.
Dido suddenly comes back and tells us that he bribed the cop. We drive out and make for Leondale. Just as we drive into the East Rand we are pulled over by Ekurhuleni Metro Police. They want Dido's license and apparently he was speeding.
They call him for citation and he suddenly comes back and tells us that he bribed the cop. We then suddenly get to Leondale where a huge marquee with a DJ is in place. We park outside, the punk band walks out, I walk into the house since these boys are my cousins and ask for a cup of coffee from their sister. I get one fixed, organise my Sunday dose of City Press and relax.
Suddenly the natives start arriving and two hours later everybody is in a serious discussion about issues affecting all of us. Business ideas are being thrown around and I can see myself making that elusive million. After the formalities and the lunch it's time for music. There are actually more people who came for the music than the serious business. Booze is everywhere, food is galore, the deejay is rocking and the girls look like mermaids.
At around 19h00 while sipping poison some drunk guy jumps into the Ranger and reverses at something that looks like 40 kilometres per hour and bumps another man. The man falls to the tar- road and later says he's not hurt. There's some citation and then it's back to fun and booze. I get worried because I'm drinking a lot but do not get drunk. I meet old friends from home, some few models, BEE types, drunkards, enterpreneurs, hustlers and old friends and flames.
Later we go into the main house to sleep and are awoken at around 02h00 by the sound of the security alarm.
The following morning the E drives us to town and we catch a bus home. We get home at 15h12. 'Honey I'm home'
DISCLAIMER; This story was heavily edited since it would offend sensitive readers. For a full version keep posted to kasiekulture in the future.
Starring; Me, Dido, The Twins & the Enterpreneur Guest Appearances; Miss Stone, Two Cousins, Russel & Mapulaneng Collective
Directed by: Kasiekulture
Joburg can be a nice city if you made it a point to call the Travel Advisory before visiting it. Here they will tell you about the weather forecast, rand/dollar exchange rate, xenophobia hotspots and brothels. Best, they will even sms you the hottest gay nightspots. Me and Dido did it and were told that we should not come on own cars but take a bus. We took a bus, made it outside of Mpumalanga, got to George's Restaurant that people like to call Wonderfontein, bought our hot dogs, iced tea with Ginseng (Oriental chigwana), a copy of True Love magazine and Saturday Star.
We got to Joburg Park Station after 15h00 and gave a holler to the Enterpreneur to come collect us for a drive to Leondale in the East Rand. Now the E is a very busy man who however will not be busy for us since he's my second cousin and Dido's closest buddy. The E tells us we must move to the second floor at Buffallo Bills and wait there while we quench our thirst. Buffallo Bills is packed as Bafana Bafana is playing Guinea. We sit down and a chubby waitress approaches and we place our order. I want my green bottled cider and Dido is for Jameson double tot. We gulp at least seven same poisons both ways before the E pitches with two Cousins, Russel and one-half of the Twins. We are thinking this is the point where the moneyman should settle our phat bill. He's excited and says 'we'll sit down and order one before we leave'. Nice, I go for my eighth 350ml and we start chatting. The other cousin is all for juice and sits suspicioiusly as if he works for National Intelligence Agency. We talk shit and two hours later we have had our many drinks, ate lots of biltong and made half a dozen trips to the loo. Bufallo Bills is getting empty as well. We call the bills and when the waitress wants to know who foots the E is quick saying, 'I am Tito Mboweni'. Fine, when he sees it he almost chokes. But he foots while we are sitting on our bulding wallets.
We leave the station, Dido, Russel and me travel in the latest Beemer 1Series of the E while the cousins choose the A3 of the one-half of the twins. We leave park station and are headed for Hillbrow where the other half rents a bachelor flat he never lives in but is exclusively reserved for Vall Triangle skanks. As we leave the station we see a police bakkie trailing us. When we get to Hillbrow it stops opposite us on the traffic light. We drive past Fontana Inn and just after taking the right turn the blue lights are on and heavily armed cops demand that we walk out of the car. The E, the driver walks out first and one cop in civilian clothes has his R5 pointed at us while the other one points his 9mm Pietro Beretta. The third one is a Metro cop and he approaches us as the R5 one demands that we put our hands on the car. It's a cold Joburg night and the streets are lit and suddenly everyone is looking as the cops conduct body searches. Fortunately for me I don't have rolled joints on me. They search us thoroughly, me twice since I have put on multi-pocket cargo pants, a turtle neck and a leather jacket. While this is happening some guy wants to walk past and the R5 cop tells him to change his route and as he tries to walk past the cop misses him with a kick that would have made Jet Li proud. The search is over and we tell them we appreciate the hard work they are doing keeping Hillbrow crime-free.
We then drive 100 metres away next to Johannesburger Hotel.
Immediately after parking Miss Stone appears from the entrance. Me and Dido are surprised because this is a skank we last saw in Shatale two weeks ago and who some guy told us that he chocolate-boxed her. Suddenly she's excited and asks us when did we arrive and we say a week earlier and that we actually come from Botswana today. She's happy and the E now wants to screw her. He sets the ball in motion and they agree that he will sleep in her flat tonight which is at Century Plaza where the other half's flat is at . Russel takes our bags to the other half's flat. Then we leave for Leondale in the East Rand. The other half and the cousins are remaining in town to scout for hos.In the East Rand before we could go to Number 5, the E drives to his other chick's home to fetch her for a night out. The chick comes out with her half-brother who loves riding in a car he can sell his granny for a ride in a taxi. We pick the two of them, the E introduces us and calls her 'Njabulo', to me she's another skank out for a phat 17-incher. Apparently it's a general term he uses for all his chicks. We drive to his home at Number 5 and find the other half of the twins that was not in town. He's almost sleeping and we chat briefly. The E, comes out and gives us the keys to his Ford Ranger double cab and says it's the car me and Dido will use for the night. Fine, me and Dido sit in there while it's idling and we are heating it since it's very cold. Soon we drive behind the E on our way to Jo'burg. As we approach the lights we call him to find out where are we going and he says Newtown. Time is 10h28 and we tell him we haven't eaten anything since getting to town. He proposes we go to Braamfontein.
We follow him and when we get to Braamfontein we find the other half and the cousins already there. I make a call to a sista I know who lives in Hillbrow to say what's up? She's fine, she asks me where I'm staying and I tell her in Hillbrow and she says she's in Tshwane but will call tomorrow when she comes back to the city of sin.
Okay, the place we decide to eat at is called Pantsula's Bite and it's actually almost a club with a DJ to boot. We chill, place our order of chicken and rice and spinach and butternut. While having drinks the food comes and only me and Dido eats our rations while the rest are not hungry. After that the music is good, the plasma is beaming soccer highlights from yesteryear and the booze is flowing and we decide 'fuck it' we are staying here. The place is almost packed with guys and their chicks. We booze and chat amid the noise until 02h46 when we finally decide to leave. The E has his chick from Leondale, and so is the other half who we found hooked when we arrived at the joint. Russel and the cousins are gonna be bachelors tonight. We leave with Russel now for our flat in Hillbrow, get there, bribe the security guard and access underground parking. We are sloshed and tired and immediately brush our teeth and sleep.
Morning comes and we plan to go to a networking session in Leondale which is the main reason we are in Jozi. We splash separately, I make myself a cup of coffee and sandwitches and stand by the window and shoot pictures of the rot. Russel comes in to rush us saying the E is calling him wanting to know at what time will we get to Leondale. Okay, soon after Russel left Miss Stone pitches in. We chill with her while I make myself my second cup of coffee. Me and Dido flatter her a little and she loves it. Then we walk out with Russel for the u
nderground parking. We drive out and have to wait for a bunch of natives who are going to Leondale with us. It's now three chicks and five guys who look like members of a punk group. As Dido drives through Ellis Park there's a roadblock by Joburg Metro Police. They wave us aside and tell Dido that the Ranger has unpaid fines. They ask for his driver's license which he doesn't have with him. They tell him the guys were sitting on the rim of the base and call him for citation.
Dido suddenly comes back and tells us that he bribed the cop. We drive out and make for Leondale. Just as we drive into the East Rand we are pulled over by Ekurhuleni Metro Police. They want Dido's license and apparently he was speeding.
They call him for citation and he suddenly comes back and tells us that he bribed the cop. We then suddenly get to Leondale where a huge marquee with a DJ is in place. We park outside, the punk band walks out, I walk into the house since these boys are my cousins and ask for a cup of coffee from their sister. I get one fixed, organise my Sunday dose of City Press and relax.
Suddenly the natives start arriving and two hours later everybody is in a serious discussion about issues affecting all of us. Business ideas are being thrown around and I can see myself making that elusive million. After the formalities and the lunch it's time for music. There are actually more people who came for the music than the serious business. Booze is everywhere, food is galore, the deejay is rocking and the girls look like mermaids.
At around 19h00 while sipping poison some drunk guy jumps into the Ranger and reverses at something that looks like 40 kilometres per hour and bumps another man. The man falls to the tar- road and later says he's not hurt. There's some citation and then it's back to fun and booze. I get worried because I'm drinking a lot but do not get drunk. I meet old friends from home, some few models, BEE types, drunkards, enterpreneurs, hustlers and old friends and flames.
Later we go into the main house to sleep and are awoken at around 02h00 by the sound of the security alarm.
The following morning the E drives us to town and we catch a bus home. We get home at 15h12. 'Honey I'm home'
DISCLAIMER; This story was heavily edited since it would offend sensitive readers. For a full version keep posted to kasiekulture in the future.
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