gudani ramikosi

Through The Eyes of the Child - Gudani Ramikosi

Very few writers are willing to take a step back and see the world through the eyes of a child. They view childhood as that formative stage that deserves no glory.

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Gudani Ramikosi (fifth from left) at the Polokwane Literary Festival

That’s until you meet Gudani Ramikosi (30), a passionate author of children’s literature who regularly steps into those small shoes and seems to enjoy the walk. 

“When I was growing up there were lots of Ghanaian authors whose children’s stories I enjoyed. I remember the one about the death of a guitarist husband which’s twist at the end was both amusing and educational. I have always found children’s literature to be an important step in understanding African orature”, Gudani discloses. 

Interesting enough, her early years as a writer were not spent searching for stories to tell. She came into literature through poetry. “It’s easier coming out as a poet since you can voice what you think. That’s how I came out. However I am still interested in poetry, both writing and reading”, she says. For this MuVenda woman the medium she is most comfortable articulating in is her own mother tongue. Advocating for language, Gudani believes it’s only through Tshivenda that she can fully express herself better.

Gudani’s writings are based on Tshivenda myth and mythology. She credits her fascination with cultural themes on having undergone all the initiation rituals a MuVenda woman should before being certified mature for marriage. “It was in 2000 that I finally took part in the domba dance. I also underwent training for womenhood. I didn’t like it at first but I ended up enjoying”, Gudani says. The author adds that one thing that stood out for her during her initiation was the use of metaphors and symbols to emphasize issues such as sex, husband, parenthood etc.

Such use of metaphors fitted well into the manifestation of her early love for children literature and Venda culture. “It is transforming to accommodate the modern working woman and accept the leadership role that VhaVenda women play in the world today”. Metaphors also sparked her creativity to finally put the pen down.

“In 2009 I attended a Room To Read workshop held in Polokwane which is where I learnt about writing for children. While I always had stories to tell the structure was finally given during the workshop”, she confesses. Freshly inspired Gudani wrote Thilli’s Journey, a children’s book illustrated by Limpopo artist Jonas Mailula. Thili’s Journey is a story about a little girl’s adventures with fantastical superstition, folk and mythical beliefs that she has to conquer during her visit to her grandmother.

This brilliant Tshivenda book was translated into seven South African languages and a few overseas ones. Gudani is worried that few Black authors see value in talking to children, let alone in mother tongue. “We depend a lot on English literature. There’s actually few written by Africans”, she gripes.

Being married to Limpopo-based artist Vonani Bila and mothering two young boys, Mhlahlandlela (5) and Samora (3) Gudani says parenthood helped her to understand children’s fascination with animal characters in their stories. Both her sons are still at crèche but she reads them bedside stories from books she borrows at Makhado Library.

In 2012 Gudani published her second book titled in the sacred valley of the rising sun which was illustrated by Melvin Naidoo. The main character is Piggy, a domesticated monkey. It explores identity crisis in a society trapped in materialism and consumptionism.

Inspired by award-winning Dr Gcina Mhlophe and two SALA Lifetime Achievement winners from her village Gudani has an unpublished Tshivenda novelette and a novel manuscripts with the latter funded by the National Arts Council of South Africa. She also headlined the inaugural Polokwane Literary Festival in 2011 and has read her women empowerment poem Zwa uno muta in an episode of the SABC2 Tshivenda soapie Muvhango.

Listening to Gudani speak passionately about Tshivenda literature, poetry and orature it dawns that she was uncomfortable with being limited to the confines of Shirley Village in Elim, but chose to go where angels tread. “Parents should enjoy reading books for their children. Kids will never enjoy if they are not taught by their parents”, Gudani says.

                                   


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moses seletisha

Curtain Call - Moses Seletisha

The late Professor Es’kia Mphahlele believed the silver lining apartheid provided was it allowing indigenous languages to flourish through investment in their development. This was not the case in other parts of colonial Africa.

In a post-apartheid South Africa there are complaints from language practitioners that the democratic government has little regard for Black languages. “I have seen groups growing and dying of hunger. It is the Department of Arts and Torture that is not doing us right at times. They will always tell you there is no sufficient budget”. Sepedi performance poet, playwright, actor, translator, writer and intellectual with a keen interest in African languages Moses Seletisha (27) protests. 

He is one of a growing number of young artists who choose to express themselves in their mother tongue because as he says, “why do you want me to speak your language when I have mine?”

Seletisha was born at Mooihoek Village in Tsimanyane. He grew up in Leeufontein next to Marble Hall in Limpopo Province.  By his confession his father passed on when he was five-years-old, leaving his mother to raise him, a brother and sister with her R500 a month wages. He remembers that his father worked in the mines and alleges his pension was squandered by his uncle. As a result he was raised by his grandparents Martha and Stephen Seletisha with whom he still lives.

His first literary awakening came when he was recruited by a theatre company. From here his formative stage mirrors that of most Limpopo artists. “During Heritage month I saw myself reciting my first poem ‘The University of The North’ which was a dedication to the late Prof. John Ruganda organised by University of Limpopo. The reception was too overwhelming and made me escalate my pen. At the same time I was serving as an actor performing at The Market Theatre Lab and National Arts Festival (Grahamstown)”

Seletisha prides himself on being ‘an old lion’. “My pen started making sense at the age of fifteen “ he says. However, for a 27-years old man who models himself after the doyens of Sepedi literature O.K. Matsepe and N.S Puleng it seems Seletisha is comfortable with not getting much attention. He has shared the stage as a poet with notable voices such as Vonani Bila, Lois Reeds, Lesego Rampolokeng, David Wa Maahlamela, Matete Motsoaledi, Mmatshilo Motsei, Antonio Lyons and many others.  “If it was not of poetry I would have become a murderer, I use it for verbal masturbation”, he confesses.

It however is not poetry that pays the bills in the Seletisha household. Stage is what he is known and famed for; often wowing crowds across provinces with his animated presence. He has been an artist for the better part of his adult life where he acquired experience working in different stage productions such as Kgorong (The Royal Court), Le kae letsoalo, Khupamarama (The Secret), Swana ya Mosate and The Way.

The big project of this prolific English to Sepedi translator is Tšhutšhumakgala (Coal-train). Tšhutšhumakgala is the biography of Frans Tlokwe Maserumule, a former Umkhonto we Sizwe combatant who is now a member of parliament. “A first black prisoner on Robben Island to get married in Pollsmoor Prison during the apartheid system. He was granted a 10-seconds honeymoon. Tlokwe is an unacknowledged hero of the liberation struggle in this country.” he says. Seletisha believes through this book Tlokwe, who still has bullets lodged in his body will finally be honoured.

The biography is edited by Motsoaledi and wa Maahlamela, both of whom Seletisha calls “my gods of poetry”. Foreword is by former APLA commander Letlapa Mphahlele. 

He swears by Bila. “He is one honest writer, his work contains the truth.” 

Himself, wa Maahlamela and Motsoaledi are the trio responsible for the renaissance of a language that is endangered by the emerging middle class which prefers foreign to native. Seletisha is optimistic, “The upcoming generation will also donate the tongues to add on the spice. Instead of investing in sex, alcohol and human trafficking, crime and all unprofitable activities.”

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polokwane literary festival

Through the Eyes of the Child -  Gudani Ramikosi

Very few writers are willing to take a step back and see the world through the eyes of a child. They view childhood as that formative stage that deserves no glory. That’s until you meet Gudani Ramikosi (30), a passionate author of children’s literature who regularly steps into those small shoes and seems to enjoy the walk.

“When I was growing up there were lots of Ghanaian authors whose children’s stories I enjoyed. I remember the one about the death of a guitarist husband which’s twist at the end was both amusing and educational. I have always found children’s literature to be an important step in understanding African orature”, Gudani discloses. 

Interesting enough, her early years as a writer were not spent searching for stories to tell. She came into literature through poetry. “It’s easier coming out as a poet since you can voice what you think. That’s how I came out. However I am still interested in poetry, both writing and reading”, she says. For this MuVenda woman the medium she is most comfortable articulating in is her own mother tongue. Advocating for language, Gudani believes it’s only through Tshivenda that she can fully express herself better.

Gudani’s writings are based on Tshivenda myth and mythology. She credits her fascination with cultural themes on having undergone all the initiation rituals a MuVenda woman should before being certified mature for marriage. “It was in 2000 that I finally took part in the domba dance. I also underwent training for womenhood. I didn’t like it at first but I ended up enjoying”, Gudani says. The author adds that one thing that stood out for her during her initiation was the use of metaphors and symbols to emphasize issues such as sex, husband, parenthood etc.

Such use of metaphors fitted well into the manifestation of her early love for children literature and Venda culture. “It is transforming to accommodate the modern working woman and accept the leadership role that VhaVenda women play in the world today”. Metaphors also sparked her creativity to finally put the pen down.

“In 2009 I attended a Room To Read workshop held in Polokwane which is where I learnt about writing for children. While I always had stories to tell the structure was finally given during the workshop”, she confesses. Freshly inspired Gudani wrote Thilli’s Journey, a children’s book illustrated by Limpopo artist Jonas Mailula. Thili’s Journey is a story about a little girl’s adventures with fantastical superstition, folk and mythical beliefs that she has to conquer during her visit to her grandmother.

This brilliant Tshivenda book was translated into seven South African languages and a few overseas ones. Gudani is worried that few Black authors see value in talking to children, let alone in mother tongue. “We depend a lot on English literature. There’s actually few written by Africans”, she gripes.

Being married to Limpopo-based artist Vonani Bila and mothering two young boys, Mhlahlandlela (5) and Samora (3) Gudani says parenthood helped her to understand children’s fascination with animal characters in their stories. Both her sons are still at crèche but she reads them bedside stories from books she borrows at Makhado Library.

In 2012 Gudani published her second book titled in the sacred valley of the rising sun which was illustrated by Melvin Naidoo. The main character is Piggy, a domesticated monkey. It explores identity crisis in a society trapped in materialism and consumptionism.

Inspired by award-winning Dr Gcina Mhlophe and two SALA Lifetime Achievement winners from her village Gudani has an unpublished Tshivenda novelette and a novel manuscripts with the latter funded by the National Arts Council of South Africa. She also headlined the inaugural Polokwane Literary Festival in 2011 and has read her women empowerment poem Zwa uno muta in an episode of the SABC2 Tshivenda soapie Muvhango.

Listening to Gudani speak passionately about Tshivenda literature, poetry and orature it dawns that she was uncomfortable with being limited to the confines of Shirley Village in Elim, but chose to go where angels tread. “Parents should enjoy reading books for their children. Kids will never enjoy if they are not taught by their parents”, Gudani says.

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OPINION

Malibongwe!

President Jacob Zuma, who suffered two setbacks last month; first with his failed bid to extend the tenure of Chief Justice Sandile Ngcobo and a humiliating Constitutional Court judgement that deemed unconstitutional his attempt to keep Ngcobo much longer has an opportunity to redeem himself. While it seems that the president, since he was elected 27 months ago cannot do anything to the satisfaction of everybody, he has an unenviable task of choosing the next Chief Justice. Consensus already deems Judge Dikgang Moseneke undesirable to some powerful people.

But this being Women’s Month the ball falls squarely into Zuma’s court to utilise August to affirm women for the role they have always played in first; fighting for this democracy and second; to consolidate its gains. South Africa has proven in its few years of universal franchise that woman can lead key institutions and be effective.

It’s not hard to tell since most foundation phase stages of education (primary schools) are headed by women principals and they produce quality learners who are later lost to high schools when some male teachers start sleeping with the female learners. The abuse of female learners is a story for another day. However the high school drop-out rate suggests this is quite alarming.

One would see political and social capital accruing Zuma’s way if he can spring a surprise and appoint either Judge Bess Nkabinde or Sisi Khampepe to replace Ngcobo as Chief Justice. Both these two women are jurists of repute who have served the bench with integrity. Both these women have little baggage compared to the men who are touted to take the position.

If in less than twenty years the Public Protector’s office can mature from a lukewarm tenure of Advocate Selby Baqwa, a cold controversial one of Lawrance Mushwana to a robust and engaging incumbency of Adv Thuli Madonsela, one needs not look further for the positive role that women can play to re-instil confidence into institutions which are losing value by the minute.

Madonsela has restored the image of the public protector being a protector of the public from abuse not politicians from public scrutiny. Madonsela, Monhla Hlahla (ACSA), Siza Mzimela (SAA), Futhi Mthoba (BUSA), Helen Zille (Western Cape Premier), Maria Ramos (ABSA), Gill Marcus (Reserve Bank), Mamodupi Mohlala (Consumer Council), Manto Madlala (Golden Arrows) and many others in key industry positions have proven time and time again that it’s not the gender that determines excellence but the heart.

Speaking of the heart; that’s why it was worrying when a few years ago there was no women buy-in when we started an investigation into girl-child abuse in Bushbuckridge schools. The first people who accused us of having a hidden agenda by fingering suspected paedophile teachers were women. The first people who advised us to drop the investigation were women in teacher unions who could only see as far as their ambitions to become managers in the department of education.

These women blocked at every corner an investigation into that corrupt behaviour until the regional office in Bushbuckridge dropped it and the conduct flourished. Where was the beautiful heart of matriarchy?

Believably, looking the other way is not something the women mentioned above would do in the same situation. Also worrying is the fact that while Zuma can do well by giving this country its first woman Chief Justice, there is so much silence on the part of women organisations to openly lobby for this groundbreaking possibility. Women’s voices are just not being heard because women are not saying anything about the direction this country should take.

So, like all other years, Women’s Month (less Zuma flipping a surprise) will be just that – a month were we see women factions in political parties acting as if they have self-love, men in different forums acting as if they really care about women only to drop the baton on September 1. Malibongwe!

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NEWS

What’s Funny About Zuma Smiling? Obama Patronizes Us – Again!

I’m puzzled by the silence of our intellectuals on the patronizing of this country by US President Barack Obama that he applauds South Afrika for having voluntarily abandoned its nuclear programme. In 1989 South Afrika announced that it was abandoning its nuclear programme and dismantling its warheads. In 1994 the International Atomic Energy Agency verified that the programme was squashed.

I am saying Obama is patronizing this country because South Afrika never voluntarily abandoned a programme. For those who follow world history here are pointers to follow. Flashback;

1989 is the year that the Soviet Union crumbled and the Berlin Wall collapsed. In other words the Iron Curtain was finally torn. Poland was charmed by the Solidarity comrades and the whole Europe was realigning. The Boers in South Afrika, forever the smartest leaders of this country could forsee as early as 1983 that they can not sustain apartheid forever. There were sanctions piling up, a murky war in Angola where they were facing the disciplined Cuban Army, the new SADF conscripts were in the township to enforce a dying doctrine, End Conscription Campaign was gaining momentum with many whites choosing to serve jail time instead of joining the apartheid army.

The boers knew right then that the darkies were coming into power as formerly feared organisations like the ANC, ANC and SACP were gaining popularity by virtue of mass mobilization by UDF and its calls for consumer boycotts, defiance campaigns, making townships ungovernable and school boycotts. So, the boers did what every visionary regime would do – prepare for the darkie takeover.

What was the first thing they did? They could not hand over political power to a black government without regulating how strong such a government will be. They auctioned Iskor to Arcelor Mittal, changed the framework that governed Armscor, DENEL, ESKOM and many other state entities.

Then they did the smartest thing; they decided that they are nto going to hand over the country’s nuclear programme to a black government. They could not allow South Afrika to be the only black ruled country – by extension Afrikan country with a nuclear bomb. So, their friends, the ones who developed with them; the Israelis, the US, France and Britain decided that they need to dismantle it to deny Mandela to have his finger on a trigger.

The Mnadela South Afrika could easily befriend Iran, Iraq, Sudan, Venezuela, Cuba, Bolivia, China and be a threat to US interests in Afrika. Thus our beloved programme was dismantled by the same guys who started it – the boers, not for altruistic reasons but selfish ones. So, for Zuma to smile like a baby while Obama was patronizing us is uncalled for. If apartheid did not look shaky in the 1980s we would still be a nuclear power.

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NEWS

A Lesson for The Presidency

Since our beloved President Jacob Zuma ascended the hot seat at Union Buildings there has really never been a moment that the media allowed him to indicate how well he can conduct himself. He has not helped himself either with his dodgy ‘lifestyle’. Ja, I say 'dodgy' because impregnating your friend’s daughters is not acceptable in any culture.

On a PR side I nearly choked on my red wine when I saw Zizi Kodwa introducing the chief to the media in Durban to lambast the wild child Juju. Now I love the fact that JZ’s communications team is developing a face. It’s no longer goons and spooks hidden in dark suits and tinted glasses crafting verses for a remix of Umshini Wami but real men and women.

The one I have been dying to see was Lakela Kaunda. Wow, what a babe – yummy! She oozes that swag that makes chicks like Kelly Rowland drip sexuality. Okay, enough with salivating.

Now with Zizi, who we have come to know as a firebrand youth who shot from the hip, very much different from our poet (oops floet) who now needs serious lessons on communications I have always known him.

The reason I am writing about JZ’s team is because they seriously need to do work over his image. From a communications point of view our president sucks. I have worked with Vusi Mona in the past and I can vouch that he is a highly effective communicator who can think on his feet and I wonder if the bureaucracy in the Presidency really allows him to navigate the aircraft carrier called The Presidency.

If I can pick faux paus and give them names I will start with the State of the Nation address. JZ mistakenly pronouncing DBSA as ABSA is unforgivable. It either says that his speechwriting team used bad font like Loki Cola which resulted in the A looking like a D or the boss just didn’t read the damn piece before reading it to us.

Also what’s this thing of reading papers in this day of environmentally friendly TelePrompTers? Maybe you will argue that the damn message mirror machine is not environmentally friendly cuz it used electric power which might be produced from either nuclear or coal. But it still saves the environment cuz at the end of the day nothing gets shredded.

Minister Pravin Gordham used something aspiring to be it.

Still on the State of the Nation, someone needs to provide aides of the president with a psychological profile of humans. My informed brain-experts will tell you that human beings work like a clock that was set when they were born. You were always put to bed after the sun went down which means that immediately that happens the human clock it ticking to a halt. Thus, to have such a crucial speech at prime time is tantamount to expecting a child to be active at that time. At that time people are so tired all they want is to cook, eat, watch Generations, and take a bath and sleep. We are a working class nation which means when JZ started yepping some people were not even at home.

Simply put, humans have clocks that retire as the day progresses; which means evenings are the worst time to even have sex – which is something JZ should know cuz there’s no way all that brood was made under a tree.

The last thing a working person needs is late night rhetoric – and the aides missed it, since they could have stuck with the 13h00 speech and allowed the news channels to carry a digest with experts at night. And that Irvin Khoza LBW (read a cricket manual) was a killer. You see, if something is not there don’t just insert it Gedle.

And from a health point; what time did those sods down their gala dinner? Explains why we have so many pot-bellied MPs in parliament. Nutritionists warn that if you want to be fit you must eat your last meal before seven o’clock.

No wonder even JZ looked very tired and ready to sleep. I bet you if you put a sleeping bag next to the podium he would have just collapsed into a heap of 64 years old meat.

Why did his aides allow him to address the nation at night when they knew Mandela had to be there? I mean the old man was supposed to have had his dinner at 18h30, took his pills and retired to bed. If there’s one person who has benefitted from Mandela’s legacy it has to be JZ – and Mr. President please don’t slaughter the goose that lays the golden egg.

In times of plenty Tata is a footnote – when JZ’s leadership is threatened he plays the Madiba card with precision. I can’t wait for the day when Mandela tells him where to get off. And I can’t wait for the day when the state of the nation will be at 06h00 to allow for everybody, especially those on their way to work to listen to it in taxis, buses, watch it on SABC2 and e.tv and on their cellphones.

Alternatively JZ should record his rant to mitigate his pronunciation gaffes and save the nation face. For god’s sake Msholozi on the day failed to pronounce anything in any language except isiZulu.

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NEWS

All Power to the People; JZ's First 100 Days Scorecard

Billionaire capitalist Tokyo Sexwale visited the squatter community of Diepsloot (Gauteng) in his first PR media gig as minister of Human Settlement. This is the same chief who held his first meeting with his provincial ministers at the JSE (Sandton) and pledged that he will hold future meetings there to symbolize that governance was as demanding of performance as business.
Tokyo’s boss Jacob Zuma visited Balfour (Mpumalanga) in the aftermath of intensive service delivery protests and a village in the outskirts of Giyani (Limpopo), two weeks apart. This was after spending his Saturday with villagers in the Free State, the province that spent approximately R9 million on cars for chief politicians.

Interviewed about his thought-provoking book Architects of Poverty and commenting on the first 100 days of Zuma’s administration, which has been characterized by labour protests and strikes, author Moeletsi Mbeki (brother to deposed president Thabo) was frank. He told Vuyo Mbuli on Morning Live that all those visits by ‘the political elite’ were for mere symbolic reasons and had nothing tangible for the residents. He said they were cosmetic and carried no promise for the aggrieved residents. Moeletsi questioned why Zuma didn’t inquire about the murder of two protesters in Balfour but pretended that the highlight of his visit was to have found the mayor off-guard while what was causing the uprising stood beckoning.

I don’t always agree with Moeletsi, especially on his rants which often get published in Sunday Times. However this time Moeletsi is right; these poor communities don’t want mere courteous visits by ‘the ruling elite’ but power. They want power (vested on them not party) to fire incompetent councilors and mayors who don’t pitch to work or make an effort to address them on their grievances. Power to decide who (not what the party) should govern them. They don’t need power in doses as if it was some strong medicine.

If indeed it’s a strong medicine then why are political leaders and ‘the political elite’ going for it full-throttle? If it corrupts let us all be corrupt and call that national empowerment. Why do politicians like Sexwale and Zuma retail it with a humungous mark-up while they got it wholesale?

Residents want the same power to decide which house they want to live in – add to that the power to choose their neighbours. They’ve seen government officials refusing to live in state houses but golf-estates and hotels. They want to be able to decide which two German models they would like to drive – add to that who should pick them from the dealership. Imagine if we were all allowed the carte blanche to choose two sedans of our choice worth R1, 3 million? Wouldn’t we be nicknamed an ML63, S600, 7-Series Nation. We can finally get rid of the patronizing Rainbow Nation when a rainbow does not even have a Black colour which in South Afrika is highlighted.

And such power doesn’t come with Tokyo taking a nap (maybe even playing chess with his billions on his Blackberry) in your shack surrounded by a legion of bodyguards and a plethora of middle-class support staff. It doesn’t come with Zuma catching the mayor of a dorpie off-guard while Rome is burning. It also doesn’t come with incompetent officials (Jacob Dladla) at Mbombela Municipality being suspended for 18-months with full (R100 000, 00 a month) pay but shown the door as per council recommendation.

That’s what power is; all this visits to villages, townships, informal settlements, tough talk on policing, threatening to place under administration non-performing municipalities, threatening to repossess unproductive farms, threatening to make Western Cape ungovernable unless Helen Zille implements quotas are just pure hot air. ‘Better to be ignored than patronized’, so rightfully said former US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, although she was a neo-con.

NEWS

The Moment Before the Check-Mate

Everybody has been on Afrikan National Congress president Jacob Zuma’s case since he caught his but I think I should actually come to the defence of uGedleyihlekisa’s demeanor. See, I met Umsholozi once and his nemesis, former state president Thabo Mbeki twice.

The first time I met Mbeki was in 1999 and he was in a good mood until some people booed then Limpopo premier Ngoako Ramatlhodi and agitated Mbeki. He drifted from protocol, grabbed the mike from Collins Chabane and went on to address us in isiXhosa -exclusively. He was very angry and shaken (not stirred) and not yet a president but deputizing Nelson Mandela. JZ was still in Kwazulu Natal borrowing money from Shabir Shaik.

Then I met JZ in 2006 prior to Polokwane when he was no longer president of the country but a Trojan Horse of the ANC. He exuded warmth even though he never afforded us an interview, just like his nemesis. He came with a huge entourage of bodyguards and yes-men. He however sang his customary song which this blog is named after.

Then I met Mbeki again two years ago before Polokwane. It was two months before the policy conference and he was stressed, even looking older than 62. He exuded warmth but also didn’t want to speak to the media.

These were two men who played their cards close to their chests since they knew what is it they were going to be asked. The stakes were high. These were two men fighting a war through phone tapping and sending skanks to drop it (kanga) like it’s hot and later assassinate each’s characters. These were two men answering to no one but their own dark demons, one allegedly using the National Prosecuting Authority to fight his proxy war while the other used the National Intelligence Agency. These were two men playing a mental chess game that only them understood, a game that ended with a check-mate on April 6.

However the Msholozi who spoke to journalists at a Durban hotel after the charges were finally withdrawn was different from the charismatic Msholozi I met three years ago at the same venue that I met Mbeki. It was a rather relaxed, however cocky JZ. He had this don’t-give-a-damn attitude about him. He was no longer the ‘truly’ smiling warm Zuma who can charm an HIV positive woman out of her kanga. It saw a JZ driven by covert revenge and all-out retribution, a JZ who was playing his cards very close to his chest.

Zulu king Shaka adviced his amabutho ‘never to leave an enemy behind’ and ‘the child of a snake is a snake’. I doubt if JZ was sincere or just selling us a dummy – which we didn’t buy.

The Zuma Prosecution – Lessons Tutored

It could only have happened in South Afrika whereby a prima facie case of corruption, money laundering and racketeering has to be decided on a technicality. On Monday April 6 the National Prosecuting Authority made its announcement that they can not proceed with the prosecution of African National Congress President Jacob Zuma due to meddling in the process by former Scorpions boss Leonard McCarthy (now World Bank employee) and former National Prosecuting Authority boss Bulelani Ngcuka (now a businessman).

However these are two men who were at some stage trusted by their comrades and vested with the responsibility of leading one of the most respected offices in the criminal and legal systems. However as evidence contained in taped conversations between the two parties indicate; they conspired to put the brakes on Zuma’s ambitions to be the next ANC president and by extension South Afrika’s president by charging him just before and/or after the watershed Polokwane conference. Then another mystery figure, billionaire Mzi Khumalo is heavily implicated.

The ‘ever-dilligent’ National Intelligence Agency monitored their communication and handed the tapes over to the Zuma defence team led by Michael Hulley which they presented to the NPA as part of their presentation.

But, at the media conference NPA Acting Head Advocate Mokotedi Mpshe was at pains to legitimize how the tapes were made. His reasoning that they were made as part of the NIA’s investigation into the Browse Mole Report stand on shaky ground. First; the agency needs a high court order (from a sitting judge) to monitor electronic communication and they should convince the judge that there is no way such information can be obtained without resorting to covert activity.

I doubt that there was no way that they could monitor McCarthy without tapping his phone given that he was on the employ of NPA heading the Directorate of Special Operations and his co-operation could always be solicited through his bosses.

Maybe they tapped Bulelani’s phone as a private citizen – and gave whatever compelling reasons to the judge who authorised it. However the fact that such intelligence was handed over to Zuma’s defence team suggests that the team knew about its existence before it became public knowledge. Which suggests an abuse of state organs given that Zuma could access data held by NIA while he is just a private citizen and Mpshe said that the information has just been recently declassified. Declassified means it has now been made available to the public, which should include Zuma – but apparently he was privy to their existence before all of us.

Now; if there are lessons to be learnt here by the ANC is that they should stop obsessing with this policy of deploying only their comrades to these strategic positions which has seen many of their senior comrades behaving in a partisan manner at the time that they should have put the nation forward. I would bet my last dime and allege that if Ngcuka was not an ANC person he wouldn’t have been interested in who won the Polokwane race but how the institution he used to belong to functioned. If McCarthy was just like any other person he also wouldn’t have had vested political interest.

And now this thing of deploying police commissioners when constables should be allowed to mature through the ranks of the force to become commissioners will one day backfire – as it nearly did with Western Cape’s Mzwandile Petrus and Jackie Selebi, because suddenly political considerations will take the front seat when it comes to criminal investigations.

Prior to provincial conferences we will have people arrested, charged and detained to block them from higher political office. But if public servants are allowed to be mere competent folks who don’t need political affiliation to advance, the public service, of which the NPA, NIA and South African Police Service are a part will not function effectively and serve all South Afrikans without fear, favour or malice.

This should start with depoliticizing workers unions so as to not create an impression that some people are closer to power by virtue of the party they belong to, which might be friendly to the ruling party and a stepping stone to power.

Lessons should be learnt and I hope the ANC as the future government of this country has. The ANC must build institutions that will survive individuals and political parties. Zuma will come and go, the ANC will come and go, but the NPA, NIA and SAPS must prevail. Anyway they should be the legacy of the party.

OPINION

Prosecution or Persecution - the life and times of Jacob Zuma

'Love him or hate him' seems to wrap African National Congress Jacob Zuman's public profile right now. There's no middle ground when it comes to our beloved JZ. However, for all armchair judges of the high moral court there's one crucial admission; The man is a bloody survivor of serious note, socially and politically. Put him on any island and tune in to SABC3 on Tuesday 19h30 and he's certain to claim the million bucks. If we all had his number of lives the earth would be a highly-populated better planet.

He's a smart fella that none of the guys who commit suicides because they can't handle the pressure or measure up to life's trials and tribulations come close to.

Zuma's Nine Lives

Life # 1. He gets fired from his cushy high-paying job of deputy president on a non-existent 'generally corrupt relationship' ground attributed to Judge Johan Squires and he lives long enough to have one foot in the Union Buildings.

Life # 2. Then he gets harassed through state organs by the 'prima facie' (but not winnable) case assertion of former top state prosecutor Advocate Bulelani Ngcuka and lives to see Ngcuka leave under a cloud.

Life # 3. Then, while claiming political motive gets slapped with a rape charge which he later kicks out at the Johannesburg High Court, thanks to his bulldog lawyers and friends in the spookworld. And he lives long enough to see Khwezi whisked away to a god-forsaken London flat for her safety while JZ becomes a pastor.

Life # 4. Still recovering from that has his day in the Pietermaritzburg High Court and manages to have the case thrown out on a technicality, mainly because most of the evidence that should be introduced against him is the subject of appeals and Concourt decisions.

Life # 5 Not long after that a forensic KPMG report exposes his car-wash preferences and he is soon re-indicted for extra charges including tax evasion. He goes to Mauritius to instil the fear of god into their Attorney-General.

Life # 6. Mauritius turns down his application to block crucial evidence which includes diaries and minutes from meetings from making it to a South African court. He goes on a World Tour to boost his credentials.

Life # 7. Judicial Services Commission put on leave his purpoted luitenant at the Cape High Court Judge John Hlophe for allegedly attempting to influence Constitutional Court decisions on Zuma. In all these JZ is playing Shaggy, 'it wasn't me'.

Life # 8. Finally Concourt rules in the state's favour on the admissibility of 93000 documents crucial in his prosecution. JZ is not even in the country but in Mozambique to apologise for xenophobia attacks.

UmSholozi

And Zuma is still standing, not contemplating any suicide, not running from justice and not contemplating throwing in the towel. Or maybe, he should consider applying for a separation of trial from Thint?
Standing on the dock with a seller of death does not help his case either.

Life # 9. Today (August 4) he's having his day in court and his fans swear to god they can intimidate the judiciary to let their man go.

A cat has nine lives, can our friend UmSholozi outdo the gentle feline. JZ-Trials and Tribulations II, coming soon to a blog near you

TALK!

Thy Shalt Not Kill
"a man is never undone 'til he be hanged"

The biggest moral issue in South Afrika right now is born out of what African National Congress President Jacob Zuma told the South African Jewish Board of Deputees on Tuesday night (03.05.08). Zuma put the cat amongst the pigeons by suggesting that he can't rule out the possibility of a referendum to determine public opinion on whether the death penalty should be reintroduced.

Okay, as our legal experts have already said that the death penalty goes against the ANC policy position on the issue of crime and punishment, and the Constitution of the country. It's for this simple reason that the death penalty by its very nature is a barbaric practise, backward shotgun solution and tends to achieve results contrary to desired ones.

Otherwise we wouldn't be having so many felonies in Texas and California. We wouldn't be having so much mutiny in Iraq. Botswana would be a model country without murders and other serious crimes. The trick is what fulfilment do you get after someone has been killed?

It's understandable why the ANC ealrier on legislated against the death penalty. It was because under apartheid the only results it produced was the butchery of freedom fighters and political activists while real criminals like Barend Strydom walked free.

However, the situation has changed now, the ANC is in government, crime is escalating and the people are becoming impatient with a government position that says the uneasiness is just perception.

Zuma is right; the people must decide for themselves. However the death penalty can only be feasible if it is made compulsory for all people sentenced to die to exhaust all legal options before they are slaughtered or let off the hook to serve long sentences. Every person found guilty of murder or rape (plus statutory), or making a racist video, or gross mismanagement of public funds, or arms deal corruption, or assault GBH, impregnating a minor, carrying weapons to school, drug dealing, or indecent assault or any capital crimes should automatically have their guilty verdict and sentence heard by the Appeal Court in Bloemfontein and if it upholds it should be automatic that such an appeal will go to the Constitutional Court and if it upholds the verdict and sentence it is then that the convict faces the guillotine.

No expenses should be spared by the state to provide full representation to people sentenced to hang, even if it means getting firebrand Kemp J Kemp or Norman Arendse to represent them.

We judge a country's civilisation by how it treats it prisoners. Such should be a point of departure.

OPINION

WHAT IF ZUMA WAS KILLED?

The Mail&Guardian's revelations of an alleged plot to assassinate African National Congress deputy president Jacob Zuma reads like a plot straight out of a John Le Carre novel. Actually it reads like the first draft manuscript submitted to an editor. A rifle (probably a Lee Enfield 303) left on the roof of a building only to be found by a sniper who is a former South African Defence Force's 32 Batallion who has been promised R1 million by a man he is not going to name (who is not Simon Mann).

This is a yet unedited manuscript for a novel that can only be conceived by people who have mastered the art of storytelling, either they were journalists and are now spindoctors or are currently practising journalists with a vivid imagination. I am also capable of knitting together a more gorier believable story, especially as long as it involves 32 Batallion and elements within the intelligence community.

What's more interesting is that if Zuma was indeed successfully snuffed, it would make juicy news to see who wouldn't go to his funeral in Kwazulu-Natal for security reasons - your guess is as good as mine. First, let's take an informed look at 32 Batallion.

WHAT WAS 32 BATALLION?

The batallion was officially found in 1976 as a Portuguese and Angolan indigenous languages speaking unit of the National Front for the Liberation of Angola (FNLA) led by factionist Daniel Chipenda who defected to FNLA from Popular Movement for the Total Liberation of Angola (MPLA) in 1975 after losing a leadership battle with Agostino Neto. Chipenda brought approximately 2000 troops into Holden Roberto's rebel movement. After its absorbtion it became a feared foreign legion of the South African Defence Force (SADF, predecessor to SANDF) during its Angolan campaign and was often accused of gross brutality against civilians and People's Liberation Army of Namibia (PLAN) combatants, the armed wing of South West African People's Organisation (SWAPO).

When Namibia became independent in 1989 it was at the time largely constituted by the sons of the original 32 Batallion commandos. They were moved (disowned) to Pomfret in the North West where they were later disbanded under the new government.

Their remnants continue to live in poverty and squalor and are highly disorientated. More so because they can't go to Anglola since they fought to oppose the government and brutalised its citizens (they are traitors), can't go to Namibia because they don't belong there, can't find home here because they fought the African National Congress' Umkhonto we Sizwe in the Angolan jungles. What is happening to them is retribution at its best because the provincial government is now looking into evicting them - thus further relocating them. They'll agree to do anything for R1million, including stabbing United States of America president George W Bush with a Swiss Army knife.

It must be noted that since 1988 they have never seen action, are rusty and can not succesfully pull off a hit, especially a clean assasination of someone as protected as Zuma, otherwise they would have been conducting cash-in-transit heists.

FOOD AND CLOTHING POISONING SCARE

They say murdered Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein al Majid al Tikriti was aware of people wanting to kill him all the time. He then hired a food taster and built himself many castles linked by an underground rail networks. Each castle had an underground bunker and was linked to the other.

His handpicked cooking staff (which most came from Tikrit) prepared his food then his food taster, who needed to have a healthy tongue, a giant appetite and blind loyalty would eat the food first. I don't know how those things work because there are slow and slower poisons.

The Baath Party ruled Iraq never released statistics of how many such tasters died as attempts on Hussein intensified. But then the M&G story alleged that Zuma's drinks are opened in his presence and poured in a glass which he has to drink entirely. Fine, but how many people were killed using poison concealed in rings? Zuma himself is very familiar with the story of apartheid era Military Intelligence hitman Leslie Lesia (who claimed to have met Zuma in Maputo). Also go read Billion Dollar Brain by Len Deighton and find out how to conceal poison in a half dozen of chicken eggs.

Poisoning Zuma's clothes? Please; for a man who flies commercial that should be very easy. For a man who does not enjoy diplomatic immunity it's even easier.
That Zuma handpicks his bodyguards and does not 'really' liase with embassy staff overseas is a non-starter. He's been handpicking his guards since the days of the late Barney Molokoane in exile and all of us don't really 'liase' with embassy staff until we want their help (see the Out of Afrika). He's just being a good citizen who allows the ambassador or high commissioner to do their work instead of burdening them further. That makes the heavyweight an underdog for that matter.

PUNCHING HOLES INTO THE CHEAP NOVEL

* With the conspiracy going back to 2004 it simply implies that there's been people wanting to take Umsholozi out for some time now. Buth then he was still deputy president of the country and his spindoctor Ranjeni Munusamy was still employed by Sunday Times. Mbeki had just started his second term and Zuma not yet indicated his intentions to topple him (at ANC). Given the cordial relationship he then enjoyed with his boss at Luthuli it looks suspicious that any renegade wanting to prolong Mbeki's reign would have targeted Zuma (and not Ramaphosa, Phosa and Sexwale) because he was not yet a threat.

* If there is any truth in the story originating in 2004, one just needs to ask how did former Ekurhuleni Mayor Bavumile Vilakazi (who was an High Commissioner in Uganda) die in Zuma's arms when he suffered a heart attack in 2005, given that the information purpots that Zuma never trusted embassy staff since those details of his assassination came to light.

* They say the plot goes back to 2004 but it was in 2005 when Zuma had 'unprotected' sex with a suspicious woman in his house. Where was the state of high alert on the night? All we know the woman could have stabbed Zuma to death while he took a shower.

* On the embassy story, most of them have an intelligence attache (official spy) and there's no way Umsholozi uses an advance security team but will not use free intelligence from the embassy about crime hotspots, which hotels are safer, political sentiments and which venues are more logistically accessible.

* My friends in the South African Police Services Very Important People Protection Unit, both Static and Mobile reliably inform me that, that yellow police chopper you see hovering above roughly fifteen minutes before a dignitary arrives, especially in the cities is filled with Special Task Force snipers whose mission is to identify suspicious objects ontop of buildings using powerful binoculars and 'remove' them. The alleged sniper saying he found a mounted rifle simply implies that someone watched bootleg DVDs of the Texas assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy and the six attempts on Cuban president Fidel Castro.

Security these days is manned using metal detectors, sniffer dogs, mounted snipers and in rare cases even the very reliable free Google Earth roaming service.

* The poisoned food and dry clean allegations are far-fetched, even from a Zuma friend. Zuma can afford to instal the dry cleaning machine at his own home. One can not say that after the apartheid era clothing poisoning of the Director-General in the Presidency Frank Chikane the government can still trust public dry cleaners with clothes belonging to high level politicians, unless this is a serious breach of security.

* Food poisoning is inevitable, unless you live in six castles and nobody knows where you're gonna eat your dinner and shower that night.

HOW TO KILL A POLITICIAN

* Don't stress about poisoning cooked food when you can do so the water supply to the politician's house. Most politicians use the same water supply as everyone else. If you desperately want your man don't worry about 2000 more collateral damages. You apply your poison (which's name I'm not going to give) on the water supply, guaranteed to peel his skin once he takes a shower. You can also do this just to embarass the politicians.

* Do you still remember what Ukranian presidential hopeful Viktor Yushchenko was put through, allegedly by the Komitet Gosudartsvenoi Bezopasnosti (KGB)? Anyone can be put through that acid test (no pun intended). He had a food-taster but when they wanted him they got him even though he ate with them on the same table.

* Also, do you remember what the former KGB (Russian) spy Alexander Litvinenko reportedly having some information about Vladimir Putin was subjected to while in London? He died weeks later.

* The worst form of assassination is to hypnotise an aide and give them a handgrenade with one second left on the detonator. Should work the same way Jack Ruby undid Lee Harvey Oswald, and John Hinckley tried to do the late Ronald Reagan in 1981 and Mehmet Ali Agca did the late Pope John Paul II in 1981.

* You impersonate a reporter and blow their brains during a press conference with a bomb concealsed as a microphone.

* You do the Italian Job trick. Use a cellphone to bomb the highway spot where the black Range Rover is passing by at any given time.

* Just call the mujahideen jihadists of Sadr City (Baghdad) to blow a honcho to smithereens with a roadside bomb. Everybody knows the roads politicians use to either their offices or places they like to frequent.

NOW...WE SHRED THE MANUSCRIPT

Since 2004 why hasn't anybody with serious nefarous intentions thought about this? Because like in a classical Le Carre novel, the Zuma Assassination Plot (ZAP) story deserves a happy ending. "I'm dead, she kept saying, I'm dead, I'm dead. But it seemed that he wanted her dead or alive. Locked together, they set off awkwardly along the pavement, though the town was strange to them.", that's how Le Carre finished The Little Drummer Girl.