4/26/10

NEWS

Viva F(r)eedom Day! - What Freedom?

As South Afrikans celebrate (d) a charade called Freedom Day on April 27 commentators were unanimous that the state of the nation suggested that this country is a leader in social inequality. Brazil has got nothing on us. The gap between the haves and have-nots is just so wide that it would take Moses’ miracle to pave a way through it.

Under apartheid there were wealthy whites who were the backbone of the economy. They were the beneficiaries of various intervention including Smuts’ project to address The Poor White Problem and job reservation for those who served their country in the armed forces.

Whites owned farms, industries, the Mint, the Reserve Bank and ran everything, from the politics, bureaucracy to the securocracy.

At the same time there were blacks who owned businesses in townships and villages. Some were beneficiaries of the racially named Bantu Investment Company which gave loans to black entrepreneurs. The difference was that the black entrepreneurs then lived amongst the poor – so they were a stone throw away from everyone who would be hungry and want to ask for leftovers. The tycoons, as they were called, would have postal private bags where everyone in their area of jurisdiction received their mail – for free.

The gap was not visible because black owned trading stores sold groceries on credit to the poor. The apartheid government paid old age pension once every two months to blacks but the tycoons had patience. Now it is paid monthly and black money sharks lack such patience with our gogos.

Those black entrepreneurs had tens of thousands but still believed in community.

Fast-forward to 2010. The majority of whites are still wealthy as it is reflected by the top 100 JSE companies and the Satrix 40. Apartheid’s ugly hidden secret – poor whites have finally surfaced and demand attention. Maybe those are the ones who never joined the Broerderbond, served in the military or were just plain imbeciles. Poverty has finally shed its racial cloak.

However the new wealthy blacks do not have thousands but tens of millions – at best billions. They are now on the covers of Forbes magazine. Most of them don’t own anything – the BEE shares were bought on credit and will start accruing once the partner brings government business and profits are declared. Their houses and their cars are owned by banks. They claim to own mines while what they own are the labourers only.

Then we have lifestyle entrepreneurs who detest poor people and live as far from them as possible. He only comes to the township or village when he’s bought a new German sedan. He does nothing for the community – let alone donate a computer for the school he went to. Another hallmark of this new breed is who they are doing business with; they are all doing business with government and leave the whites to run corporate South Africa and supply services to it - undisturbed.

COSATU’s Patrick Craven alluded to this gap in the media early this week. The gap between the haves and have-nots is wide because the new rich black now lives with rich whites – not as a community. Solidarity was silent this time around.

And Freedom Day to the one still stuck in the township and village, whose role models used to be black tycoons whose business has since been rendered null by the Indian/Pakistani entrepreneur and the proliferation of malls; means nothing. They never celebrated April 27 this week and they will not do it next year. Until they are free from poverty.



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4/21/10

NEWS

The Juicy Hit List - A CD Review

Mpumalanga Province has, for the first part of the year been gripped by the issue of a hit list containing names of politicians (one allegedly already killed), administrators (one also killed) and journalists (two reportedly on the take) perceived to be stumbling blocks on a big crusade led by one person to become a billionaire by 2014. This chap truly aspires to be a billionaire and he is reported to be putting every effort to reach his target. To the uninitiated a billion rand is one thousand million rands.

Those scary allegations of people being poisoned at parties and shot at their homes are the theme of an audio interview alleged to have been conducted with former journalist Tshwarelo eseng Mogakane before he hurriedly left the profession for the cold hustle. The interview, peddled by Tshwarelo’s young brother Ntate J Modise is titled Who’ Next on the Hit List (Exposing Mpumalanga’s Vampires).

In the CD Mogakane juxtaposes Psalm 23 (The Lord is My Shepherd) with the fear generated by the infamous Mpumalanga Hit List which journalist Mzilikazi wa Afrika has made his ultimate meal ticket. He questions if people alleged to be on the list should panic given that in the history of assassinations there has been people like Jesus Christ, Joe Slovo and Walter Sisulu who at any given time were both marked for death. Mogakane makes belonging to a list look like an exclusive club people should aspire to be.

He reminded me of slain Hamas leader Abdel Aziz al Rantisi who when asked if he was afraid that he was a marked man responded that he wasn’t given that on the Israeli Hit List were eight million Palestinians as well. He said his death would not make him much of a valuable martyr because Palestinians have always had martyrs in every family.

Mogakane argues that Christians should not be afraid to take risks in business or to stand out and be counted because when David says ‘the lord is my shepherd’ he means that all Christians are God’s flock and He shall never forsake them. “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no hit list. I shall not fear no politician who wants to kill people so that he can gain political favour and power. I shall not fear no soccer boss. I shall not fear no businessperson. I shall not fear no evil”, he orates in typical propagandist tone.

It is typical of gifted orators like Joseph Goebels, Martin Luther King and Winston Churchill who had the talent to give hope to nations when all they could see were shadows of their own conquerors – at the feet of defeat.

In the eighteen verse recording Mogakane touches on many pertinent issues, all themed around the Bible and relating to everyday existence. He claims that the use of muti to secure and sustain employment in government should not scare anyone who walks in the shadow of God. He urges people to go get that job even when they tell you that a car accident, a snake in your office or stroke awaits you at month-end and not a juicy paycheque.

He goes on to claim that people need not stress about changing to satisfy an unknown Deity since their God will lead them to righteousness regardless of who they are. He often crude Sepulana (for the unitiated it is the official language of Shakwaneng – otherwise known as Mpumalanga to appease the King next door).

The recording is full of such motivations that Mpumalanga residents will find inspirational since it is rooted in their reality. Everybody knows that this province is a leader in gospel music and with a fusing of both gospel and the political violence that has given this province such a bad name – Who’s Next on the Hit List should be a mirror with which people can observe themselves – warts and all.

The timing of my resignation has to do with the call that I’ve been having in my life for the past few years. Everybody who has ever been close to me will tell you that I’m on fire for the gospel of Christ, which encompasses spiritual development and personal empowerment. Working as a journalist has brought me closer to the people who need the guidance of God the most and I couldn’t help but feel like poor Jonah on a boat to Tarshish instead of heading to Ninevah to deliver the volume of the gospel” he said in anticipation of speculation that he might have quit to dodge hired men with crumpled copies of the list in their back pockets.

The one and a quarter hour long CD retails at R29, 95 and is produced by MegaMak’s Ntate J Modise. It is available at boot release by calling 0730782319 to place orders.


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4/13/10

NEWS

What’s Funny About Zuma Smiling? Obama Patronizes Us – Again!

I’m puzzled by the silence of our intellectuals on the patronizing of this country by US President Barack Obama that he applauds South Afrika for having voluntarily abandoned its nuclear programme. In 1989 South Afrika announced that it was abandoning its nuclear programme and dismantling its warheads. In 1994 the International Atomic Energy Agency verified that the programme was squashed.

I am saying Obama is patronizing this country because South Afrika never voluntarily abandoned a programme. For those who follow world history here are pointers to follow. Flashback;

1989 is the year that the Soviet Union crumbled and the Berlin Wall collapsed. In other words the Iron Curtain was finally torn. Poland was charmed by the Solidarity comrades and the whole Europe was realigning. The Boers in South Afrika, forever the smartest leaders of this country could forsee as early as 1983 that they can not sustain apartheid forever. There were sanctions piling up, a murky war in Angola where they were facing the disciplined Cuban Army, the new SADF conscripts were in the township to enforce a dying doctrine, End Conscription Campaign was gaining momentum with many whites choosing to serve jail time instead of joining the apartheid army.

The boers knew right then that the darkies were coming into power as formerly feared organisations like the ANC, ANC and SACP were gaining popularity by virtue of mass mobilization by UDF and its calls for consumer boycotts, defiance campaigns, making townships ungovernable and school boycotts. So, the boers did what every visionary regime would do – prepare for the darkie takeover.

What was the first thing they did? They could not hand over political power to a black government without regulating how strong such a government will be. They auctioned Iskor to Arcelor Mittal, changed the framework that governed Armscor, DENEL, ESKOM and many other state entities.

Then they did the smartest thing; they decided that they are nto going to hand over the country’s nuclear programme to a black government. They could not allow South Afrika to be the only black ruled country – by extension Afrikan country with a nuclear bomb. So, their friends, the ones who developed with them; the Israelis, the US, France and Britain decided that they need to dismantle it to deny Mandela to have his finger on a trigger.

The Mnadela South Afrika could easily befriend Iran, Iraq, Sudan, Venezuela, Cuba, Bolivia, China and be a threat to US interests in Afrika. Thus our beloved programme was dismantled by the same guys who started it – the boers, not for altruistic reasons but selfish ones. So, for Zuma to smile like a baby while Obama was patronizing us is uncalled for. If apartheid did not look shaky in the 1980s we would still be a nuclear power.

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4/11/10

NEWS

A Lesson for The Presidency

Since our beloved President Jacob Zuma ascended the hot seat at Union Buildings there has really never been a moment that the media allowed him to indicate how well he can conduct himself. He has not helped himself either with his dodgy ‘lifestyle’. Ja, I say 'dodgy' because impregnating your friend’s daughters is not acceptable in any culture.

On a PR side I nearly choked on my red wine when I saw Zizi Kodwa introducing the chief to the media in Durban to lambast the wild child Juju. Now I love the fact that JZ’s communications team is developing a face. It’s no longer goons and spooks hidden in dark suits and tinted glasses crafting verses for a remix of Umshini Wami but real men and women.

The one I have been dying to see was Lakela Kaunda. Wow, what a babe – yummy! She oozes that swag that makes chicks like Kelly Rowland drip sexuality. Okay, enough with salivating.

Now with Zizi, who we have come to know as a firebrand youth who shot from the hip, very much different from our poet (oops floet) who now needs serious lessons on communications I have always known him.

The reason I am writing about JZ’s team is because they seriously need to do work over his image. From a communications point of view our president sucks. I have worked with Vusi Mona in the past and I can vouch that he is a highly effective communicator who can think on his feet and I wonder if the bureaucracy in the Presidency really allows him to navigate the aircraft carrier called The Presidency.

If I can pick faux paus and give them names I will start with the State of the Nation address. JZ mistakenly pronouncing DBSA as ABSA is unforgivable. It either says that his speechwriting team used bad font like Loki Cola which resulted in the A looking like a D or the boss just didn’t read the damn piece before reading it to us.

Also what’s this thing of reading papers in this day of environmentally friendly TelePrompTers? Maybe you will argue that the damn message mirror machine is not environmentally friendly cuz it used electric power which might be produced from either nuclear or coal. But it still saves the environment cuz at the end of the day nothing gets shredded.

Minister Pravin Gordham used something aspiring to be it.

Still on the State of the Nation, someone needs to provide aides of the president with a psychological profile of humans. My informed brain-experts will tell you that human beings work like a clock that was set when they were born. You were always put to bed after the sun went down which means that immediately that happens the human clock it ticking to a halt. Thus, to have such a crucial speech at prime time is tantamount to expecting a child to be active at that time. At that time people are so tired all they want is to cook, eat, watch Generations, and take a bath and sleep. We are a working class nation which means when JZ started yepping some people were not even at home.

Simply put, humans have clocks that retire as the day progresses; which means evenings are the worst time to even have sex – which is something JZ should know cuz there’s no way all that brood was made under a tree.

The last thing a working person needs is late night rhetoric – and the aides missed it, since they could have stuck with the 13h00 speech and allowed the news channels to carry a digest with experts at night. And that Irvin Khoza LBW (read a cricket manual) was a killer. You see, if something is not there don’t just insert it Gedle.

And from a health point; what time did those sods down their gala dinner? Explains why we have so many pot-bellied MPs in parliament. Nutritionists warn that if you want to be fit you must eat your last meal before seven o’clock.

No wonder even JZ looked very tired and ready to sleep. I bet you if you put a sleeping bag next to the podium he would have just collapsed into a heap of 64 years old meat.

Why did his aides allow him to address the nation at night when they knew Mandela had to be there? I mean the old man was supposed to have had his dinner at 18h30, took his pills and retired to bed. If there’s one person who has benefitted from Mandela’s legacy it has to be JZ – and Mr. President please don’t slaughter the goose that lays the golden egg.

In times of plenty Tata is a footnote – when JZ’s leadership is threatened he plays the Madiba card with precision. I can’t wait for the day when Mandela tells him where to get off. And I can’t wait for the day when the state of the nation will be at 06h00 to allow for everybody, especially those on their way to work to listen to it in taxis, buses, watch it on SABC2 and e.tv and on their cellphones.

Alternatively JZ should record his rant to mitigate his pronunciation gaffes and save the nation face. For god’s sake Msholozi on the day failed to pronounce anything in any language except isiZulu.

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4/10/10

NEWS

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie?
Dog Eat Dog in the ANC

On a week that we saw a lot of altercations between the media and people who think they are above the law isn’t it interesting that it ended on an encouraging note. Not only did we see the Visagie AWB chap being hackled by e.tv’s Chris Maroleng after he blew his lid while being interviewed by the daughter of a pan-Africanist Lebogang Pheko.

The week ended well because finally ANC chief Jacob Zuma decided to develop some teeth. On Saturday he finally promised to sink them so deep into Juju that the poor boy with a Sandton address will get rabies on the spot. But our understanding of their fragile relationships has informed some of us that JZ is a ram and Juju is trusted lapdog – more trusted than Mo Shaik.

See Juju started off as a Chihuahua – back in the days when spooks like Mo were vultures staking Thabo Mbeki. Juju was a Chihuahua with an in-built alto vuvuzela, a cheerleader really. Now Juju is barking like a German shepherd and his latest bark is ‘rubbish is what lies under your trousers, that’s rubbish… bastard…bladdy agent’. Poor Jonah Fisher timidly walked out since he couldn’t imagine ANC security guards who massacred so many people when Luthuli was still Shell House throwing his ‘white’ ass out of the skyscraper. They've done it before, they can do it again.

As journalist we always expect blood and gore when we go out on assignments but none at a Luthuli 11th floor media conference. Yes, most of the times we go out and really have to step over dry blood as we take pictures of warm corpses, but such an expectation will never cross our minds when invited to a Zimbabwe Tour Report Back media conference.

Now you see, these conferences are supposed to be choreographed by folks like Floyd Shibambu (he of Floetry fame) and no insurance taken since people hardly die at media conferences. We even leave our bulletproofs in the boots of our cars when we go to media conferences.

That’s until Juju stepped in and turned them into battle zones. Now JZ says he will hang him high by the balls. I’m surprised cuz I doubt if Juju does have balls. However it’s a welcome development.

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4/4/10

NEWS

The Swastika has Fallen – a Eulogy for Eugene Terreblanche

Of the many things that he is famous for, it is that falling off his trusted horse that removed the mystic off one of the most ‘hated’ Afrikaner nationalists [separatist] of our time. That giant fall that exposed green underpants tops the list of the faux paus. The nationalist is also known for inflaming emotions following the assassination of South African Communist Party leader Chris Hani by Polish immigrant Janus Walusz and Clive Derby-Lewis by insinuating to a Boer audience that if the marksman botched the job he would have perfected the shot.

He is also known for the religious crusade he led with such venom [hatred] that it defied the Christian doctrine’s main tenet – love. There is today a man who carries permanent infirmity inflicted on him by none other than one white bearded Eugene Terreblanche. And now Uncle Eugene is dead. In as much the same clarion call that went out when Black Consciousness advocate Steve Bantu Biko and Hani were culled [not killed], even today the Afrikaners must exercise restraint since I am certain the separatist are feeling what darkies felt that April day when Hani was martyred and that Skielik Nazi boy culled so many squatter dwellers. They must hold their fire and wait for the next command – from who exactly; nobody knows – maybe General De La Rey would resurrect from the ashes of the vanquished laager and issue new instructions.

Isn’t it ironic that the white Messiah gets killed during the Easter holiday, completing the martyrdom and granting him some ‘saint’ status? Eugene painfully carried the heavy cross of Afrikaner liberation that only he and a few Wit Wolves, Afrikaner Weerstandbeweging and Aquilas understood its purpose. He carried such a heavy wooden cross that equal Afrikaners like Jan Smuts, Hendriek Verwoed, Barend Strijdom and Constant Viljoen saw its fragility. Verwoed had to be slaughtered like swine for his revolution to come to halt. Reformist Afrikaner revolutionary PW Botha had to die a lonely death to finally see the light. His death comes in a week that President Jacob Zuma met poor Afrikaners to assure them of a place in the Rainbow [though it lacks the Black colour].

But Eugene, after years of a self-inflicted hiatus decided to rise a few months ago at the Pretoria City Hall, behind the statue of Kgoshi Tshwane to declare war everlasting on the new dispensation. It was like firing pellets at an elephant – truly nobody took his seriously.

A few days before Winter the general gets slaughtered, not like the holy sheep but cheap swine dying for its bacon. ‘Death be not proud’ uttered John Donne.

Death need not be proud for robbing us of revolutionaries, no matter how out of touch their ideologies may be. Eugene stood for something, he exercised his democratic right fully and lived amongst black people, though in an unequal environment. Few people would have accorded Eugene the courtesy to die in his sleep. But some would have granted him the right to die fighting – not to save his life from killers but for a vaderland. He never really wanted to settle for less as he never even wanted to take residence in Orania.

Afrikaner nationalism is not poorer without Eugene – if anything it is opportunities like this that they need to take to chart a new path and portray themselves as a caring nation that is willing to live in harmony with others. It’s time they put all the blame on Eugene and bury him with it.

Arguably his murder had nothing to do with the ‘Shoot the Boer’ song as loved by those who want to are now in privilege they come out to defend it in flowery columns to keep the poor focused on a low-cost house. May Eugene rest in peace. And may, once again the Afrikaners learn a lesson from how karma plays itself out.

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4/2/10

REVIEW

Crime and Punishment (oops, Correction) – undressing wordsetc

The first quarter of 2010 ushered in the literary community another tight installment of wordsetc – that kid journal which is gradually growing into an adult. wordsetc aspires, justifiably so, to be the number one South African Literary Journal – the authority, the Bible in the same vein as the South African Medical Journal or Harvard Law Review. For this crisp read to become that heavyweight it needs to feature as many cross-cultural reads and content as possible. It needs to be a mirror that when a literature heads looks at sees white, blue, yellow, black, orange, white, Coloured, unColoured, red and Indian. This issue does that and even goes beyond. Actually eighteen contributors took their brushes and painted on this canvas.

Those who remember the early stages of this journal will reminisce about how we were so afraid that given that it only carried wine ads it risked dying of advertising malnutrition – today the wine I see the most is the one I want to win – Meerlust 2003 Pinot Noir.

That possibility still exists, even post-recession – however I feel that wordsetc has gradually become one of the reads which if the publishers decided to pull a Barcelona FC stunt and seek its fans to dig deep into their pockets to keep it on life support, I will be one of the first people to do so – and I believe that those who have had the privilege of tenders will just close their eyes and pop a million – instead of keeping wordsetc on life support we can take it to a racing track and make it spoil Caster Semenya’s 800 marathon record.

So, to Bra Phakama, the baby has been adopted by the community and it has ceased being yours alone but your brainchild. We are all now the godparents of wordsetc.

Enough about trying to sound educated; this issue of the journal has writers who come from different social background and who write about subjects intimate to them. The journal is no longer about authors’ profiles and book reviews only. If the last issues you had were those banal ones maybe it’s time you contemplated subscribing.

The issue under review has a warm article about what was inarguably our pastime as kids stressed by apartheid policies – reading and sharing crime novels. Justice Malala tackles this subject with the passion of a Japanese in a sushi bar. He takes readers through what one can call ‘Bantu education nostalgia’. True, if there’s one thing black people under apartheid did well was that they read anything that was put infront of them. Darkies under apartheid were more informed than our born-frees and those who inherited a transition.

I remember how I read most of the books Malala touched on and even went to the genre of espionage with Jack Higgins and John Le Carre.

After evoking a sense of nostalgia through the deliberate emphasis on the famed James Hadley Chase novel collection, Malala indicts the current crop of people claiming to be journalists, “every time I see journalists being lazy, I think about Chase. He never stopped. That is why I never stop”. Chase wrote so many books under different pseudonyms at times.

The theme of this issue is CRIME. It is not a coincidence that the cover has magnificent author Margie Orford who is arguably the current Queen of Crime Fiction. Not only do you get to see her on the cover but there are at least eleven pages where she’s been reviewed and interviewed by both Sam Beckbessinger and Eva Hunter. It provides an opportunity to get into her head and discover her literary interests and what fuels her muse.

Overall, as I don’t intend to narrate everything in this installment I will just leave you with a few observations. One of my well-read friends read a story on page 16 titled With the Best Intentions and immediately asked me if there are constables who write such good short stories. Well, Andrew Brown is an advocate and a reservist sergeant in Cape Town. Even with or without such credentials he’s just a brilliant storyteller who mesmerized a well-read friend of mine to think he was on stakeout every night.

There is an article that attempts to unravel the mysteries of Russia, Unravelling Russia, [Bronwyn McLennan] and Timbuktu, Up the River Niger [Joanne Rushby]. There’s something about Chinese cuisine, Childhood Dreams, Served with Noodles [by Emma Chen], a look at crime and punishment (oops correction) [as told to Phakama Mbonambi], letters trying to unravel further mysteries [Thembelani Ngenelwa and Carla Chait] etc.

So, my advice to you, get yourself wordsetc. Someone said I never really review the journal [I’m not objective because I get if for free] because I never pick the warts. For sure, go pick me a wart on The Holy Quran and I will find you one in wordstec.

To subscribe go to subscriptions@wordsetc.co.za, to get those copies you missed info@wordsetc.co.za. Optionally go to their website at www.wordsetc.co.za
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