OPINION

Black is Bond

There was a story I knew about a brother who wanted to realise Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu's Rainbow nation ideal by copulating with a Caucasian chick. When the girl with a rich Scottish ancestry not only soaked in 500 year of quality whisky distillation turned down his advances he quipped, 'that's because I'm Black right'.

Of course, why else would a white chick turn down a Black guy if it isn't because he's Black and might pack a placenta rattling 17-inch pipi. Nonsense. Sense when you define Black in economic terms of deprived, denied and broke as a church mouse.

Okay, let's park it for now.

A good friend of mine told me with good authority that darkies and boers (Afrikaners) are very similar that's why they can't stand each other. 'You've got a better chance of bonking an Afrikaner than an English'. He said that boers are equally promiscous from an early age, have multiple abortions and die of AIDS at the same ratio as darkies. 'No wonder when they made Daily Sun for us they also made Die Son for them because we've got equal shit to dish'. He said, 'find them at Tekkies (University of Pretoria), the darkies there shag boer chicks like nobody's business'. He told me of this other dude I know who's boning a chick in the same bloodline of Dr Hendriek Verwoed, some grand or great-granddaughter. I gasped, 'wow, the good doctor must be turning restlessly in his grave because not only did this darkie, raised to see the green pastures but never to walk on them just walking, but he's trampling on the seed as well'.

Let's unpark that issue again and pay the toll.

Black is not a colour but a currency. Black is the depth of one's pocket. Obviously white chicks can't shag a broke darkie while we've seen paid darkies in the entertainment and sports industries from Nelspruit through Melville to Cape Town bonking larnies like crazy. Some darkies as unflattering as a '65 Impala.

Now, people like Mike Stofile, Lebo M and FBJ want to cash in the bond and raise capital. What Lebo M said is true but did he have to wait to be seated at the back to raise it? How long he been aware of racism in the theatre industry?

Okay, it's time to cash the bond and convert it into money before it's too late. If you are Black, hold on to your Blackness, it will be worth something someday. Or trying cashing it now since it's a voucher and see how much you can make. If still in doubt about the power of Black, ask the Black Diamonds and those who run around seeking AA Patronage.