Tshwarelo eseng Mogakane is a 25 years-old poet, writer and journalist who plans to commit suicide at the age of 32. He's carrying his suicidal ambition like a trooper married to a rifle.

Advantages of hating you

Today we celebrate our magical death with a kiss
Shadows of lust manifest from the backyard of our minds
Like afore thoughts travelling at the speed of fate
I caress you perfectly; as good as a god caresses its being, perfectly
For imperfect is perfect in its imperfection
You have been great, little girl
You have been ungrateful as well
Bitch, I loved you when I shouldn’t have

My sanity multiplied by a million worries
I die a romantic death in your poisonous arms
You love me; I hear your ambiguous declaration
Civil smiles eating my jealousy away
We make love on a red bed
We shouldn’t…
But I love you too;
Can you hear my dubious confession?
As I moan emotions in your ear
You tear me down
You recreate me
You are an angry pistol in the hands of love
And I am poetry in the hands of hate

Take therefore what I give
From your palms I doubt if I’m willing to receive
With all my love,
My unconditional love that loves conditions
My impure love
With which I hate those who defile your sacred affections for me
I can't stand you
To the marrow’s heart
Your sight plagues my peace
My cursed gift you break me apart
I desire you…
With all the fears in me
And I fear loving you,
With all the faith in me
-4kof Satan

U do not know how to love me, but you try
(Dedicated to Robin & mike tyson, Khutšo & me)

1. Beyond definition
Lives your episodic love for me
Beyond the malicious trial of re-definition
Is your thallophytic love for a lonely rebel

2. In an intense reality
A laser-wired castle haunted by romantic demons
A child of your mind’s muscle,
A cherubic cocoon,
We reside, I king, U queen
A pair from destiny’s womb

3. … this is love
That’s how U define our preposterous desire to win
To conquer tha other human
And render them inhumane

4. Pardon tha truth, my dear
U do not know how to love me,
But U try

5. Beyond reason
Your love for me, a lonely citizen
Beyond the malicious attempts of counter-reason
Your insanity, tha loneliest native of your silly mind

6. Thousands upon hundreds of words
Verbs, nouns, phrases, proverbs, idioms
Similes, onomatopoeias, metaphors
Hyperbole, oxymoron, parables
Eulogies and antilogies
U hail at me

Words – just words
Words horny with idolatrous adoration
Micro-genetically designed
To hail at my incapacity to comprehend your silliness
Your corroded idea of love
A notion so gentle, so fucking perverse
Confusing affection with selfless attention
Confusing need with love
I’m just a prize of your uncontrollable wanting

7. U love me, but…
U, do not love me
For damn-you-stretch-yourself, U cannot
For damn-you-strain-your-wits, U know not
Tha what, and tha how of love
Tha why – a ruthless burden I shall spare U

8. Pardon tha truth, my dear
For U, cannot know how to love me,
But U try

9. Beyond restriction
U are a prisoner of your fucking love
A docile slave of your bizarre love U are
Beyond redemption

10. Ignorance is a dangerous bliss
Your claim an irrevocable sin frowned upon by amadlozi
For U know tha rhetoric of your mouth
Reciting it in tha poetry readings of your lonely mind
But ironically, failing to know what U mean

11. Too bad I am truth
Most hated by liars grinning white their tooth
Their teeth, with hate they seethe
Scorned and tormented for my thorough-bred confessions
Crucified for my failure to understand this sham
This pardonable misdemeanor
A leaking crucible of evil
A serial social taboo untabooed
But relabeled love

12. Blame tha truth, dearest
For U have no clue how to love me,
But U try

Jonna jo, ngwanešo, U try!

13. But However sweet, and Nevertheless
Notwithstanding, Howbeit, Yet frankly my dear
U shall not test-drive your b-grade love on my heart

14. U shall not be allowed to enjoy
My sanity like a disposable toy,
U may as well keep your lovingness
Your shallow excuse to fucking possess
A claim - To know that which I myself know less

15. To call a truce on my rebelling emotions
Straightening out, damn ironing my distortions
To dress my cold heart with fire
To quick-fix tha world like an orthodox messiah
Tune all to harmony, gag tha whiners
Courier me to tha toilet and wipe my lazing anus

16. To bathe and feed me

17. Live for me, and die for me

18. Pray for me
Grant my prayers
Wing me, and fly for me

19. To save me in the coming apocalypse
To take my swim in tha boiling rivers of hell
And negotiate me a five-star room in paradise
Where only god and his virgin angels dwell

20. Where U imagine you live

21. In a reality unreal
A miscarried child of your mind

22. Where truth is not welcome
And tha windows of sincerity are kept shut

23. For there is one undeniable truth:

24. U shall never know how to love –
Not me, not U, not anyone
Damn, even if U tried
-Fokof Satan-

what do you think about this poetry: busy@webmail.co.za

1 comment:

  1. smiling killer3/24/2007

    knowing "El Ribelatti" on an almost personal level,it doesn't even surprise me to bear witness to his titanic manipulation of the poetic universe.He's most definately one of SA's most innovative and creative writers, able to assimilate modern writing style without desecrating the almost archetypal essence of Poetry.


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