The Rise and Fall of Thabo Mbeki
Starring: Thabo Mbeki, Julius Malema, Gwede Mantashe and Jacob Zuma
Screenplay by: Julius Malema
Directed by: Tokyo Sexwale and Matthews Phosa
Produced by: The new ANC National Executive Committee
Executive Producer: Chancellor House Films
There’s an interesting storyline I swear I heard about Julius Malema. You see what has been happening in South Afrika this year is stuff that science fiction, espionage, romance, dramas and comedies are made of. I am also one of those thinking of hooking up a script about some of them and see if I can’t clock good moolah at the South Afrikan box office to make Mr. Bones look like a Noliwood b-grader titled Mr. Ibu.
I was saying there’s an intriguing storyline that I heard about Julius Malema that I pray does not lead to me and the people who leaked it to me facing lawsuits worth R7 million from the ANC Youth League president. But it’s nothing demeaning or attacking his dignity but more opinionated like Zapiro’s Lady Justice rape cartoon.
The storyline goes on like after nine months of calling for Thabo Mbeki’s head Julius was finally presented with it on a silver platter by ANC Secretary General Gwede Mantashe, who, like a good waiter at an upmarket restaurant was not marveling at the beauty on the platter since it was going to be accompanied by a phat bill.
The story goes on to say that the tray was so overflowing with blood and the grey-haired head of the former head of the republic which was slumped and sunken in the offensive liquid. The eyes were innocently closed and withdrawn. Julius refused to accept and returned it to Mantashe, reasoning to the SC that when he called for the head of the ANC aristocrat he was unaware that it will bleed that much, denying the Blood Bank four pints of fresh blood. Coward! I hear you say… pardon the young man, he’s not a killer just an aspiring one.
It is said that the way Mbeki sheepishly accepted his date with the guillotine went against every script conceived by Julius and his brethren. If you watched the documentary Behind the Rainbow you would remember somebody talking about putting your vanquished enemies against the wall, blindfolding them and shooting them as a sign of ultimate conquest. That is how young Julius scripted it, with a grand finale to spill everyone’s popcorns but it ended with an anticlimax that usually sees moviegoers remaining seated at the end to read the credits.
They wanted a Mbeki who would be pushed out of the presidency kicking and screaming while they raised the rhetoric ante on television. That he left without putting a fight and denied them the opportunity to call for his disciplinary since bowing out without even a squirm is a sign of discipline was not part of the script – The Rise and Fall of Thabo Mbeki.
Mbeki’s feeling that he had to explain himself to the nation of 47 million and not his party’s bosses showed little regard he had for the processes followed to dismiss him from high office. What he was seeing was a bunch of folks who have reservations about the integrity of the judiciary suddenly basing their main charge on his charge sheet on the declarations of a ‘counter-revolutionary’ named Judge Chris Nicholson.
The story goes on, but next time we will interrogate; Thabo Mbeki – The Dalai Lama of COPE
Starring: Terror Lekota, Mbhazima Shilowa, Thabo Mbeki, Buti Manamela and Anele Mda
Screenplay by: Buti Manamela
Directed by: Blade Nzimande and Zwelinzima Vavi
Produced by: Young Communist League
Executive Producer: South Afrikan Communist Party
Coming soon to a television set near you! Always Better on the Smaller Screen!
The Rise and Fall of Thabo Mbeki