I Feel like Sh*t II

At the loo I walked in and locked the door, was sweating profusely now, and just as I was sitting busy relieving myself I felt my stomach running. I sweated more, took off my woollen hat, acrylic jacket, my woollen golf shirt and wiped my brow. Sweat came gushing to the floor. Now I was feeling like puking, imagine that - a running stomach (depositing through the rear) and a running stomach (wanting to deposit through the front).

I turned around and faced the toilet seat and ‘guuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssssssshhhhhhhh’ I puked all the English breakfast I had in the morning and sweated more. I then realised that half the smelly puke had splashed on my jeans and boxers. Only 22% was in the basin, mixed with pooh-pooh, 20% was on the tiled floor and 8% on my brown leather shoes. I sat there feeling dead. I was feeling like more shit.

After sorting some things out like using the whole roll of toilet paper to wipe everything that required wiping, including part of the floor and especially my pants which now had brownish-orangish wet marks on them I carried my two bags and walked out, met an old man who cleans floors on the passage and looked at myself on the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot, my skin darker, feeling like shit and filthy from the smelly-slippery-sticky puke.

As I walked out of the loo I kept saying to myself, ‘there goes Jameson and Johnny, fuck liquor

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