TRU

Out of My Chest

There are times that I think some people should learn to grow. Growth is change that's why it's painful. There is this other woman I know who lives in one of the four rooms in Soweto who has such negative thoughts about the countryside that you would swear to god that she has been there. Okay, she hadn't really been there until I took her there, took her to Zion (as my friend Shaft would say) and showed her all the good things that Jozi can not offer but which the countryside has in abundance, like tranquility and peace of mind.

Not that she's really a suburb girl since she just lives in Soweto and the first time she went to Sandton was with me. She was ogling everything like she was finally in heaven. I was like, 'for god's sake this is just Sandton, I might come from Mpumalanga but I have been to this part of town so many times that it now bores me to death'. It was her first time after living in Jozi for all her 22-years. And she had the audacity to be negative about Mpumalanga calling it ko mahaeng (rural).

Fine, I forgive ignorant folks, especially if they spend a few days in one year dangling on Judas. Judas is the name of my second brain. Now what got me worked out to the point that I made this post is when on Friday she called and asked me what I was up to. I told her I'm up to chilling at home and she asked why I didn't go out. Before I could respond she was like 'oops i forgot that there are not clubs in Mpumalanga'.

Now this is where you stop to bullsh*t. I humbly told her that even if there were clubs the way I'm so broke I wouldn't have gone out go jol. Now there lay the rub, she was calling to borrow money. Borrow money? Yeah. She was soon saying 'oops, now that you talk about being broke I'm disappointed because I was calling to ask for a loan'. I then explained that since I travel a lot my little loochie is spent on hotels and coaches.

She was now speaking my language about how expensive is it to travel. Truth is, I had enough money on hand to purchase her a plane ticket to Amsterdam but I detested her attitude. She's not alone, there are Joburg folks who have a weak superiority complex borne out of living in Soweto, East Rand, West Rand, Vaal, Pretoria and anywhere outside of Mpumalanga, Limpopo, Free State, Northern and Eastern Cape.

That's why I have love for my Maftown homies because of how they fly the flag. Right now rap is in crisis and all you hear is 'Mpumalanga made me' from one member of the award-winning ra group Teargas. Where are the much-hyped Zola crew of kwaito stars? What happened to Mapaputsi, Mshoza, Mzambiya, Msawawa, Mandoza and Mzolisto and others? What happened to the Zola musicians who took over the country a few years back? Hype?

Now, one thing these people get all wrong is that there might be hundreds of clubs in Jozi but they don't belong to them. I don't want to get into business of finding out the directorships of Zambezi, Taboo, Sophiatown and others but I swear to god that they are not owned by the folks who make it their business to brag about them. So, instead of bragging about the availability of clubs in Joburg, which all they do is to render you broke since you don't own them, or the other way round which are not even owned by darkies brag about taxis because that's what darkies own in Soweto and any other part of the country.

You are not going to own Sandton City Towers simply because you brag about it. They are building a train for them called Gautrain and you are not even going to be able to take a ride in it until someone from Mpumalanga takes you on a spin. The taxi industry is the only thing a chick from Jozi should brag to people in the rural areas about, that's if there are no taxis but donkey carts there and if the taxis are owned by her uncle. Otherwise the rest of the Jozi braggado is bullshit.