'Love him or hate him' seems to wrap African National Congress Jacob Zuman's public profile right now. There's no middle ground when it comes to our beloved JZ. However, for all armchair judges of the high moral court there's one crucial admission; The man is a bloody survivor of serious note, socially and politically. Put him on any island and tune in to SABC3 on Tuesday 19h30 and he's certain to claim the million bucks. If we all had his number of lives the earth would be a highly-populated better planet.
He's a smart fella that none of the guys who commit suicides because they can't handle the pressure or measure up to life's trials and tribulations come close to.
Zuma's Nine Lives
Life # 1. He gets fired from his cushy high-paying job of deputy president on a non-existent 'generally corrupt relationship' ground attributed to Judge Johan Squires and he lives long enough to have one foot in the Union Buildings.
Life # 2. Then he gets harassed through state organs by the 'prima facie' (but not winnable) case assertion of former top state prosecutor Advocate Bulelani Ngcuka and lives to see Ngcuka leave under a cloud.
Life # 3. Then, while claiming political motive gets slapped with a rape charge which he later kicks out at the Johannesburg High Court, thanks to his bulldog lawyers and friends in the spookworld. And he lives long enough to see Khwezi whisked away to a god-forsaken London flat for her safety while JZ becomes a pastor.
Life # 4. Still recovering from that has his day in the Pietermaritzburg High Court and manages to have the case thrown out on a technicality, mainly because most of the evidence that should be introduced against him is the subject of appeals and Concourt decisions.
Life # 5 Not long after that a forensic KPMG report exposes his car-wash preferences and he is soon re-indicted for extra charges including tax evasion. He goes to Mauritius to instil the fear of god into their Attorney-General.
Life # 6. Mauritius turns down his application to block crucial evidence which includes diaries and minutes from meetings from making it to a South African court. He goes on a World Tour to boost his credentials.
Life # 7. Judicial Services Commission put on leave his purpoted luitenant at the Cape High Court Judge John Hlophe for allegedly attempting to influence Constitutional Court decisions on Zuma. In all these JZ is playing Shaggy, 'it wasn't me'.
Life # 8. Finally Concourt rules in the state's favour on the admissibility of 93000 documents crucial in his prosecution. JZ is not even in the country but in Mozambique to apologise for xenophobia attacks.
UmSholozi
And Zuma is still standing, not contemplating any suicide, not running from justice and not contemplating throwing in the towel. Or maybe, he should consider applying for a separation of trial from Thint?
Standing on the dock with a seller of death does not help his case either.
Life # 9. Today (August 4) he's having his day in court and his fans swear to god they can intimidate the judiciary to let their man go.
A cat has nine lives, can our friend UmSholozi outdo the gentle feline. JZ-Trials and Tribulations II, coming soon to a blog near you
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