DIARY

Joburg City highlights

My confession; I haven't liked a lot of brainy type chicks who excel only in crossword puzzles and nothing in-between. I don't do bimbos, thank you, since I have had a lot of those in my life already. But then Joburg last week revealed to me that there's a woman I think I like. I can't put cash on this hunch but I think it's not misguided. Not because she's the most beautiful wow-chick in the whole wide world but because she's got finesse.

She also has got a portable torso, which I like. Not because I can wrap it in one tangle but because she smelled so damn good. I like things that smell good that's why I have a flower garden next to my bedroom window. One evening was spent cuddling her and having interesting pillow talk which left no doubt in my mind that if we met in another lifetime we would've taken off like a house on fire.

We have many similarities as well. She says she's got a son who is a few months older than my daughter. This simply means that in 2005 we were both seriously bonking. She's smart and we technically draw our cash from the same cow. The cuddling was on Tuesday night after I came back from Hillbrow. The next day we cuddled again after after leaving her alone at 23h00 the previous night without even proposing a screw. I still don't know how I came to love and leave her without even sticking my tongue in her mouth.

Maybe her honesty disarmed me. In retrospect it's fine because it saved from being thrown from the second floor or shot through the eyes with a Beretta after avoiding her boyfriend by nine seconds. I was just walking out of her room, after putting on my shoes following one hour of good talk under her single bed covers. Just after strolling out I met boyfriend who has just turned a corner at a passage and couldn't establish whether I came from down the passage or the room next door. I said 'hi' and he responded with serious suspicion.

It could have been worse because the night before I left the same room I did not bother to put my shoes on but was holding them all the way to my room. Well, I'll be with the same intelligent-chick later this month and I plan to see her birthmark (ha-ha-ha)

Joburg also reestablished my connection to my business partner and chomi, Za. I spent Monday evening with her and a poet-friend smoking sticky weed on the balcony of my room. Before I got to Jozi I asked her to hook me up a joint and she ended up dishing four toxic blunts that left me about to bleed through the nose.

That's Part One and Two of me and Za - and a friend.

On my way home on Thursday, while couched up in my coach I met a Portuguese senhora who was so nice and smelled so bloody great she had to sit next to me. Over four hours of journeying I went on the offensive and just befroe Mataffin we were so advanced friends that my tongue was automatically prodding her tonsils with lust. She's the reason I'm learning Portuguese. 'Eu perder você Mami'

When I arrived in Jozi on Sunday Cochran was the man who drove me from Park Station to Berea. I didn't need to give him too many details as his Global Positioning System took us through the hussle and buzzle of the city to my crib at Berea. I'm back in Jozi later this month, and hey, you never know what happens. I might OD and die there or bleed through the nose until I die.