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Twenty-One Questions and Forty-Two Answers

Why does the SABC always can all the good dramas?
Diva: Coz they are getting itshotsho eli-grand from other production houses... maybe!
Kwaki: It can afford it

What does blue got to do with policing?
Diva: I have no idea!
Kwaki: I am colour blind

How old is the African National Congress, really?
Diva: Dunno!
Kwaki: Who cares

Why does petrol price increase take place on Wednesdays?
Diva: Midweek has less emotions flying around, try telling someone bad news on a Monday - you'll fuck their entire week and on a Friday - you'll fuck up their weekend!
Kwaki: What the Diva said

What happened to the $100 million worth Death Row Records?
Diva: Dunno!
Kwaki: Taxes

Is Bafana Bafana ever going to be a powershouse?
Diva: Never! Bafana Bafana..... no words can realy describe what my views are.
Kwaki: No

Will we ever have a black James Bond?
Diva: Why would you want to see a Black James Bond... wanna see a darkie using ama panga & beer bottles to get out of sticky situations??? The whole gadget things doesn't work for bodarkie!
Kwaki: Only if Obama wins

Why does Formula One always race on Sunday?
Diva: Why not? Nothing's wrong with racing on a Sunday!
Kwaki: Don't care

Who killed Tupac?
Diva: Eish!
Kwaki: People don't kill people guns kill people

Where are all the dead comrades that the ANC keeps reburying before every election hidden?
Diva: No idea
Kwaki: Dunno

When will Amy Winehouse die?
Diva: Leave Amy alone.... she's my favourite crack whore!
Kwaki: When she stops taking drugs

Will Barrack Obama become US President?
Diva: I don't know hey.... America with a black president????
Kwaki: Ha ha ha ...oh u are serious? Never

Why is Celine Dion sounding better than Celine Dioff?
Diva: Dude?
Kwaki: Age

Does an impotent man also wake up horny in the morning?
Diva: You're a guy..... you should know!
Kwaki: ask me after i celebrate my 100th birthday

Will anything short of death take Robert Mugabe out?
Diva: Bobby must be assassinated one time!
Kwaki: No

Can an adult male add extra centimetres to their dick?
Diva:Inkunzi emnyama....
Kwaki: yes

Where is Dr Dre's Detox album?
Diva: Dr. Dre' still raps, nigga is danm old!
Kwaki: In rehab

Where is Osama bin Laden?
Diva: Osama lives in Hollywood Boulevard.
Kwaki: dead

Will the Democratic Alliance ever rule South Afrika?
Diva: The DA will never rule... same goes for I.D, UF, FF, ACDP and all the other parties in SA - Finish & Klaar
Kwaki: i wish

Why is there no oil pipeline from the Arab countries to Israel?
Diva: Errrr
Kwaki: Dunno

Why do poets think they are the most intelligent human species alive?
Diva: Poets are just shity and crappy, I thought I was the only one who thought that they (poets) behave like they are the only people who are intelligent.... Fcuk!!!
Kwaki: They are