I wonder If Heaven Got a Ghetto?

Recently I posted it on my Facebook Wall, that if there was email beyond in the afterlife people will be surprised to find that their beloved friends and family members who they think are sitting on HIS right hand are actually burning in that other place churches want us to believe exists. For a fact; I don't believe in heaven and hell but only earth because it's here and I can touch it any minute I fell like lacing my shoes.

So, there could be a situation whereby if we lived in an Egalitarian Society we would all be hooked on the internet, either on cellphones or Apple Macs and browsing the net on leisure, not to have it as a domain of a few. In this ideal situation our email addresses would be our names and surnames followed by our email service provider; something like goodenough.mashego@earth.co.za or barack.obama@earth.com. Thus there wouldn't be all these stress of different service providers, we all would be logged on to earth.

Now, the point behind this post comes in the afterlife. Here is a brother you all loved who passes away and you decide that you are going to get that charismatic pastor to perform his last rites and tell all of you that he is sitting on the right hand of the Most High. He will yep stuff about; suppose he's a musician, his introduction to the orchestra beyond where he is performing with Bob Marley, Tupac Shakur, Notorious BIG, Marvin Gaye, Miriam Makeba, Jabu Khanyile and others. They call that troupe; The Orchestra Beyond. But then you know this chap was really bad, into groupies, too much alcohol, too much cocaine, too much lying, cheating, stealing and bad music.

So, in that event imagine getting mail in your email from tshepo@hell.org while you expected him to be in heaven since the charismatic pastor who gave him his send-off made all of you to feel that he was on his one-way ticket to paradise with a VISA signed by St Paul. You bloody expected him to mail you on tshepo@heaven.gov.

I reckon life would be interesting and we would have long answered questions like Tupac's I wonder if Heaven got a Ghetto and "is there a heaven for a g". All those fantasies of being in heaven that fuelled Tupac's muse would have been laid to rest. Obviously we would still receive spam mail from some of the naughty angels with aspirations of getting shareholding on this Matrix.

Remember Biggie, remember this Suicidal Thoughts lyrics, "When I die, fuck it I wanna go to hell/ Cause Im a piece of shit, it aint hard to fuckin tell/ It dont make sense, goin to heaven wit the goodie-goodies/ Dressed in white, I like black tims and black hoodies/ God will probably have me on some real strict shit/ No sleepin all day, no gettin my dick licked/ Hangin with the goodie-goodies loungin in paradise/ Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice/ All my life I been considered as the worst/ Lyin to my mother, even stealin out her purse/ Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion/ I know my mother wished she got a fuckin abortion/ She don't even love me like she did when I was younger/ Suckin on her chest just to stop my fuckin hunger/ I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes? Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies"

Biggie's heaven is different from the one you saw on Tupac's I wonder if Heaven Got a Ghetto and I Ain't Mad at Ya videos. Food for thought. And now you know!

1 comment:

  1. Tight post. Tupac and Biggie are on a social network called secondlife.com and you can send them posts there. Just kidding, but jah, nice post and I just like the way it has been written, with intelligent humour like them naughty angels spamming their way to earth. Remember the book of Genesis where the angels of God abondoned heaven for a shag with the daughters of men? Well, try chapter 6.


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