The best South African book ever written

Recently I have been absent from the arts critiquing world given what was happening in the country which was enough to pass off as fiction. Politics got the better of me and I couldn’t keep readers updated about the four publications (by Fiona Zerbst, Helen Moffett, Joan Metelerkamp and Sindiwe Magona)Modjadji books has just released, the detailed return of Green Dragon (however I’m waiting for review copies of the rejuvenated reptile), the opportunities to be published by Dye Hard Press, in short stories which will be edited by reviewer extra-ordinaire Arja Salafranca and lots of stuff. I mean poet David wa Maahlamela has been in a muse lately and he is quite becoming an authority in poetry circles, which is good, given that I have been trying to make him South Afrika’s poet laureate when Prof Keorapetse Kgositsile finally retires.

But I swear to you today that I’m back like the Terminator (governor Arnold Schwarzenegger) told that stupid cop in Terminator I. Like it has become custom I’m going to start sticking to what I know best, read books and write about them and get you buying and increasing the volume of book readers. I am going to start with the surplus I have in my library which I have read but never reviewed as I chased the two Zs – Zuma and Zille.

I intend to get all four Modjadji books and read them from cover to cover in record time then blog about them. I am waiting for Bra Gary to hook me up with my complimentary copy of the reptile and I will critique it for you – free of charge. Yeah, I will objectively critique it even though it has my poetry between its lovely pages.

Also on the pipeline is Timbila 7. Fresh poetry from the Timbila Poetry Project oven of Vonani Bila to keep you salivated even when you are already full. I will review it for you even though it’s got my stuff as well. You’ll also meet new poets in those pages – I won’t entice you but keep you in suspense.

Jacana Books has been sending me notices of book launches to attend and mingle with the who’s who of authors they publish. I haven’t attended any of them in protest at the fact that publishers give review copies to newspapers and magazines which end up not reviewing their material but stacking them up in warehouses while they refuse to give copies to a blog with 28000 testaments. And we dare buy and review – imagine me reviewing a book I have bought at Exclusive? That would be the coldest day in hell.

I mean when I used to review bars and pubs I usually ended up sloshed because the barman kept them coming – I was forever hit. I would start scribbling the review as I go for my eleventh pint of Jack Daniels, and to think that you read the gibberish as fact makes me feel guilty as sin. I have never written any bad review about a pub because I wrote them sloshed – then sober, thanks to Bloody Mary.

Finally, I am really back to keep all of you informed. I have added a few other things as well as you will see in the coming months. More music reviews, more film reviews and more – wait for these, fashion designer reviews and couture critiquing. My friend Za is a rising star and Mpumalanga finally has a Fashion Week which makes for interesting content.

In the coming few weeks I will bring you a review of American Gangster – the movie. I know you have seen it but I will tell you what I think about it so that when you go purchase the DVD you look at it around my points. I will also do so Don Cheadle’s Traitor and many more. If you want to learn about Al Qaeda – through the eyes of an American scriptwriter, then this is the movie for you.

Hey, comrades, forgive me for the long political rants of yesterdays. Water under the bridge.

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