Of Royal Blood and Omissions

There are things that make me laugh because they are funny and some that crack me up simply because they are rendered by clue-less folks. This weekend I laughed my bowels out when I was reading City Press Pulse. The attractive one with David Genaro (Jamie Bartlett) and his two naked mistresses Lucilla (KB Motsilanyane) and Diphuka (Tshepi Mashego) on the cover.

Now look, the funniest question I have been asked for centuries is, ‘are you related to Vincent Mashego or Mojalefa Mashego?’ and my reply is always an empathetic, ‘no, maybe in a way’. So, I know for a fact that all the Mashegos or Mashigos as Joburg likes to call them are one huge family and that does not discount sis Tshepi and we are all smart and geniuses.

But I was puzzled when she said in Pulse, ‘Tshepi is a young girl, born, bred and buttered in Pretoria’, she paused. Well, I don’t know where Pretoria in 2009 is except a strip of flats around Sammy Marks Square and Supreme Court. She was probably born in one of the townships around Tshwane, which is what we want to hear, Mamelodi, Soshanguve, and Atteridgeville etc. But that’s not the story.

Tshepi goes on to say, ‘I come from a very small conservative family and I’m the black sheep in the family because I decided to go perform on stage…’, let’s pause right there. I empathise with her because really the Mashego folks don’t understand that there’s life outside of working for the public service as clerks and teachers and nurses. For that I invite her to join the Mashego-Black-Sheep Army where I’m the captain.

But then the journalist Thato Mokhou, either by default or sub-editing omissions whereby quotation marks go missing writes ‘SHE BELONGS TO A ROYAL FAMILY IN MPUMALANGA’. I am bold enough to echo, phuuuullleeeaasee, we need to do research before we qualify some claims.

First; the part of South Afrika where Tshepi can claim royalty is actually Mapulaneng, which is a part of the Shakwaneng Empire (politically called Mpumalanga), which is the kingdom to which all the Mashego’s are royalty and which their pilgrimage is Moholoholo (which will be unveiled as a heritage site on April 18 this year).

But now the royalty she claims can only be traced to Bushbuckridge where there are two Mashego kings (called Chiefs by Queen Elizabeth), Dilai and O.M. The rest of the fragmented kingdom is lead by Malele, Chilwane (two of them), Mogane (two of them) and Mashile – then there are smaller ones like Mohlala. Collectively we are called Bana Ba Tau Sehlano (Five Children of the Lion). So for anyone to claim that Tshepi is of royal blood is to insinuate that she’s either a niece of Dilai or O.M, which must be verified through DNA testing. And which I doubt the results will come back positive.

Otherwise it will insinuate that all the Mashegos you know, in entertainment, politics, sports, civil society, and the public service are all royalty. Hahahaha, I ain’t never seen blue blood in my veins.