FACT

I ain't saying she's a Golddigger...

Lately I've been inundated with chicks who I knew back in the days to only be bonking Rock Boys. We call them Rock Boys because they rock and burn more cash than the sun does skin during a suntanning session. I've been meeting girls I knew back in the day to only be bonking moneymen - but what's dissapointing is that today they ain't got shit. They are as broke as a church mouse.

And now they left me wondering what do chicks who love money do with the dosh since obviously they don't buy luxury items like cars or even houses? I've never seen a Golddigger graduating from being the passenger on the left of the Rock Boy to being the driver while the boy lounges with his Don P or Moet. Most of what I observe is that a month after the relationship with the loaded dude ends she is seriously broke and has nothing to show except a cellphone, few Prada, Louis Vittone, Dolce and Gabana and DKNY handbags and jewlry. The cellphone will be devoid of airtime, the handbags null of high class parties to warrant their carrying.

Truly in my short space of living I ain't never seen a chick who show something of value as proceeds from the liaison. On the same breath I have seen chicks left with babies and HIV. What is it that they'll do since at the peak of the whoredom they'll testify about a guy who'll whip out of his X5 R8000 at the blink of an eye (not the drop of the kanga) and pay the Piper? At the end with the Piper not even making good music.

I have a friend who now works for a tourism agency whose testimonies of romps and orgies reveal that approximately R230 thousand passed through her hand during her reign but when the liaisons ended she didn't have something as cheap as a driver's license but two bedside drawers filled with cellphone hansets. What was also apparent after her lifestyle was the weight gain, diminishing beauty and her scratched record alter-identity.

There was a time I liked her with all my heart and dreamt of silent nights of sipping nectar at the Vaal. But today I still have a question; where's all the money? My friend Thando says that some of the girls are not in it for the money but the feeling. He says that they just enjoy being seen in an ML Class, sipping Moet, parting at Taboo, wearing expensive clothes, but they just don't get to the real golddigging - asking money upfront for a hair salon, to pay sibling school fees, pay mother's hospital bills, finish the instalment of a Toyota Tazz or foot the family bond. 'They are not that brave Lion', he told me, and I sighed with pain and relief and remembered what Kanye West said, 'I ain't saying she's a golddigger/ but she ain't messing with no broke nigga'. Yeah, at the end she don't get nobody's money, but she won't be found dead with a man without money, even if she does not end up getting a cent.