With all the tension that has surrounded the 'recalling' of former President Thabo Mbeki and the emotions surrounding it we felt we should actually have fun and cut the tension because no matter how people protest and start their own political parties the Afrikan National Congress will not change its mind and give Bra Tboz the country's presidency again. So, here at Kasiekulture, in jest of our friendship with the former president decided to sneak on his Facebook and see what has changed since last month's declaration by Judge Chris Nicholson that the executive interfered in the application of justice when it came to the case against ANC President Jacob Zuma.

Okay, don't worry that you can't find Mbeki's Facebook from your lame browser, it is only open to friends and we are those friends. But just to inform you here is what has happened since Zuma walked out of the Pietermartizburg court a relieved man.

1. Mbeki has commented on his own picture, the one we used above and wrote, 'those were the days, gallavanting Bushbuckridge and meeting interesting folks'.
He has also commented on the picture of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin wearing judo attire, 'fit stud I see, how old are you chum?'

2. Mbeki's Friends have decreased from 1020 to 59. Deleted has been Jeff Radebe, Bridgette Mabandla, Paul Mashatile, Ibrahim Rasool, Trevor Manuel, Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, Chris Nicholson, Menzi Simelane, Advocate Dali Mpofu, Robert Gumede, Saki Macozoma, Ferrial Haffajee, Deborah Patta, Andrew Fenstein, Charles Ngcakula, Tony Blair, Ehud Olmert, and many others. Some have been removed for obvious reasons while others it's still a mystery, like Patta and Blair.

3. Those who sent him requests for friendship but who can swear he's not going to confirm them as friends are Tokyo Sexwale, Cyril Ramaphosa, David Mabuza, Fish Mahlalela, Muammar Gadaffi, Robert Mugabe, George W Bush, Condoleeza Rice, Gordon Brown, Nicholas Sarkozy, General Siphiwe Nyanda, Panyaza Lesufi, Jimmy Manyi, Mervin Gumede, Jake White, Colin Powell and many others have piled up in his Inbox with no intention of confirming or denying them.

4. Those who have got a Facebook presence but were never his friends include, Don Mkhwanazi, Mcebisi Skhwatsa, Angie Motshega, Jacob Zuma, Zwelinzima Vavi, Blade Nzimande, Morgan Tsvangirai, Gavin Woods, Billy Masetlha, Tony Yengeni, Fikile Mbalula, Zizi Kodwa, Floyd Shibambu, Helen Zille, Patricia de Lille, Dr Irvin Khoza, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, Matthews Phosa, Thulas Nxesi, Bantu Holomisa, OJ Simpson, Rudi Gulliani, Jeb Bush, Zachie Achmat and other leftists never found capital in being his friends and did not even confirm him as a friend when he sent them requests.

5. Mbeki's friends include Zapiro, Mangosuthu Buthelezi, Kofi Annan, Mukoni Ratshitanga, Mosiua Lekota, Willie Madisha, Abdel Aziz Bouteflika, Olusegon Obasanjo, Sam Nujoma, Barrack Obama, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Paul Kagame, Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, Essop Pahad, Frank Chikane, Joel Netshitenze, Mathata Tsedu, Manala Manzini, Jackie Selebi, Hosni Mubarak, Silvio Berlusconi, Julio Chavez, Mbazima Shilowa, Mojanku Gumbi, Robert Gates, Moeletsi Mbeki, Snuki Zikalala, Lassie Chiwayo, Bill Gates, Patrice Motsepe, Jabu Moleketi, Geraldine Frazer-Moleketi, Tito Mboweni, Hugh Masekela, Ringo Madlingozi, Sibongile Sambo, Monhla Hlahla, Vuyo Jack, Mzi Khumalo, Danny Jordan, Sepp Blatter, Moss Mashishi, Vuyo Mbuli, Miranda Strijdom, Thoko Didiza, Nomuntu Lukhozi, Pierrie Buyoya, Omar Al Bashir, James Gulu, Andile Nkuhlu, Lucas Radebe, Michael Bloomberg, Donald Trump, Sir Richard Branson, Mohamed al Fayed, Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, Armond White, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Jordan, Eduardo dos Santos, Taban Lo Liyongo, Paris Mashile, Jabu Mbalula, Malose Kekana and others from the financial, sports, entertainment, political, economic and intellectual sections.

Our friends Julius Malema, Milton Morema, John Block, Ace Magashule, Thabang Makwetla, Sello Moloto, Beatrice Marshoff, Dipuo Peters, Makhenkesi Stofile, Robert McBride, Bhutana Khompela, Sam Nzima, Gwen Ramokgopa, Amos Masondo, Gwede Mantashe, Songezo Mjongile,
Osama Bin Laden, Pervez Musharaf, Yoweri Museveni and others do not have a Facebook Profile as it comes across as 'that other social site'. Others, whose names we won't mention are in the dark about what Facebook is and would opt for the old postcard, envelope and stamp to communicate. You know those guys who call an IT specialist to print their emails for them.

He belonged to the following clubs, The Sudan Klub, The Intellectual Discourse, The Presidents' Club, The Native Club, The Renaissance, SIS (Solving Internal Squabbles), The Finance Circle, Scorecard Forum, Afrika Unite, UN Security Council Inner Circle Squad, AU Shuttle Unit, ANC NEC (he's since quit this one), The Flying Scientists, Mayibuye Afrka, Oprah's Book Club, The Fanon Deep Thought, Kasiekulture Thought Provoking Sessions and seventeen others. He has since quit a couple of them that had something to do with his presidency.

On the Thabo Mbeki is... he wrote, 'on early retirement surrounded by Judases who are sharpening their daggers for a close shave'. Whatever shave Mbeki means is open to speculation. On his Relationship Status he writes 'it's complicated'. Here we presume he means his relationship with the ANC as he's married to Mama Zandile, with his party it's no longer a marriage I guess but an abusive relationship.

Mbeki has imported notes from Sunday Times, City Press, New York Times, Al Jazeera Magazine, Haaretz, Washington Post, Jerusalem Post, Baltimore Sun, The Sun, Sunday Independent, Pravda, Sunday Tribune, Mail&Guardian, Citizen, The Star, La Monde, Vanity Fair, GQ, MTV, Wikipedia and seven more intellectual sites familiar with the Washington crowd.

He has commented on Tutu's wall, 'way to go Padre, that's what a rubble rouser does in a sleeping society like ours. All is fair in war and peace'
Netitsendze has commented on Mbeki's picture, 'not a day older than 66 Chief, you look good'

And here goes Kasiekulture with our parody of Thabo Mbeki's Facebook Profile. Take it serious if you are as serious as this country's political leaders or just dismiss it as stuff thumbsucked by a journalist bored in his own mental newsroom.



  1. Thabo Mbeki's wife is Zanele, not Zandile, that's why we need our own indigenous language Microsoft Word to simplify our names. Read Zanele, not Zandile.


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