FACT!

Silence of the Lambs

I have a friend I love who is with the South Afrikan Police Service's Detective Branch. He used to dabble in Crime Intelligence until some snitch busted his cover in Maputo and he was sent running back to the homeland. Now he largely does Detective work. He reliably informs me that when they are called to the scene of either a cash in transit robbery, motor vehicle hijacking, housebreaking, theft or any other contact crime they don't really stress themselves trying to find answers from the people who will be observing the crime scene like vultures due to the absence of cinemas in their neighbourhoods.

He says to me that 'when we arrive at any crime scene we secure it so that we can carefully look for the criminal's business card. That's the first thing we look for and 6 out of 10 we find it and call the numbers on it or visit the physical address or send them the warrant by mail as reflected on the card. If they've got email we send the warrant as an attachment'.

Okay, I know this sounds a little trivial but I will help you out. When you enter a parked car how do you know that it is owned by a man or a woman? How do you know that the occupant of a bedroom is a man or a woman? How do you know if the person who snatched a toddler at the maternity ward is a man or a woman?

Okay, if this is trivial enough let me rephrase it. How do you know that a car belongs to a white or a black man or woman? How do you tell if a bedroom is occupied by a black or white man or woman? How do you know if a person who snatched a toddler is a black or white man or woman?

Let me complicate it further. How do you know that a car belongs to a white or black man or woman who is short or tall? How do you know that a room is occupied by a white or black man or woman who is tall or short? How do you know that a child was stolen by a tall or short black or white man or woman?

I guess now you are starting to put together a profile. Harder. How do you know that a car belongs to a short or tall white or black man or woman who is literate or illiterate? How do you tell if that room is occupied by a short or tall white or black man or woman who is illiterate or literate? How do you know that that child was stolen by a short or tall white or black man or woman who is literate or illiterate?

How do you know their ages? How do you know if they are employed or not? If they work professional or manial? If they smoke or drink? If they live with family or alone? If they voted African National Congress or Democratic Alliance? If they are mentally balanced or not?

If, like my friend you have arrested scores of people in these fields you already have a profile. But let me solve a few of these questions for you. You can tell if a car is owned by a man or woman by the positioning of the driver's seat, the stuff inside the luggage cabin, position of the rearview mirror, the stuff in the boot and under the seats. Go out and investigate for yourself.

You can tell about the occupant of a room by the cleanliness of the mirror, the basin in the bathroom, positioning of the pillow and the cushions and how the curtains were opened.
You tell about the person who stole a toddler by looking at the majority of the people working in that ward, their ages and wardrobe, their marital status and social dependency.
You can tell that a car belongs a white man or woman by looking at the aforementioned signs for gender, then the radio station on the dial or the music collection will tell you if it's white or black owned. You can tell if the occupant of a room is black or white by analysing what I told you before and checking for hair fibres on the pillow or basin or dryer or any infront of the mirror. You can tell if a toddler was stolen by a black or white by using the aforementioned information plus looking at whether this is a private or public hospital and what race are the security guards and also what race is the child stolen. If the baby is white possibilities are that a black woman was involved to carry the baby to the car. To know if someone who owns a car is short you go back to the mirrors and the position of the seat. Same with a room, check the distance between the dressing table chair and the dressing table plus the bed's surface itself, there are markings. On the baby you check the height of the court and any prop that was used to scoop the baby.

Any prop will have fingerprints remember. And fingerprints will give you a name, address and all details you need including an identikit.
Knowing if a car's owner is literate or not is easy by merely looking at what's in the car and what channel is the dial on. A room will also tell you the same story based on what's in it and how is it organised. The time at which a toddler was stolen will inform you about the literacy of the snatcher. Illiterate people are brave and less calculating. Ages are written all over crime scenes like fingerprints. The CD collection will sell off the age of the owner. The orderliness of a room will also sell off the age by looking at where and how do they hang their things - even that lotion or perfume on the dressing table is enough to betray you. Single under 35 years old people barely snatch babies unless they have miscarried or were admitted at the same hospital, so check local hospital records of miscarriages or fertility clinics.

Cars owned by employed people have a certain sophistication you can never find on any other car - go find out. Rooms of employed people as well have nails where things are hanging on the wall or door. Even the keyholder carries the message. People who are employed tend to commit their crimes between 13h00 and 14h00 or after 17h00 or weekends.

For the rest go find out and post a comment. For many crimes there's DNA analysis which can be done on teethbrushes or combs or hair samples or sperm etc and there's fingerprint analysis which can be done on doorknobs and basins and door handles and mirrors and everything. I'm your investigator now. Share your story with us.