My grandmother, together with her great-grandchild (my nephew) on a bonding session

"I'm sorry mama/ I never meant to hurt you/ I never meant to make you cry but tonite/ I'm cleaning up my closet"- Eminem
Whether we accept it or not, the only way to reach out to young people's minds these days is through music. Might be their lifestyles or fashion trends, they are all music orientated. Remember what DMX's 'How it's going Down' video did for men's perception of the knickerbockers or 2Pac's thug headband did for an army of pseudo-thugs and fake thuggish lifestyles in the townships, especially Cape Flats. Plus Eryka Badhu's doek re-invention got people like Thandiswa Mazwai back on doeks and swearing to God that they'd been doing it before Ms Badhu.
So, it's only appropriate that when young people look for words of wisdom and direction on how to be responsible this coming Mother's Day, they have to source them out at their vault of motivation. At the same songs written and performed for mothers.
Incase some of you are like DMX and have serious beefs with your mothers, let you be reminded who your mother is;
She's that woman who conceived you, carried you in her belly for nine months or less, never aborted you and later pushed out of her womb and told you, "go out and change the world". She's that one that loved you before your first wet dream/period and who still does.
Here is a musical tribute to that first woman who cared before anybody else started giving a damn about you, or pretended to.
"mama/oh mama/ you'll always be in my heart/ mama, I'll take care"- Brenda Fassie
Like everybody who knows Brenda will tell you, she never took care. But it's her delivery of the plea and the search for self-forgiveness that finds her nostalgia a place of rest, though not providing solutions. Brenda's introspection serves as a wake up call for all the youth who lost touch with their mothers, it's time you re-established the bond or listened to Mike and the Mechanics' 'In the living Years' for the rest of your natural life.
"no one could steer me right but mama tried/ mama tried/ mama tried to raise me better/ but her pleadings I denied"- Merle Haggard
The lyrics appeal to those reading this piece from the darkest corners (in jail or on the streets). There's no pain equal to the realisation that what your mother said and sounded stupid then is now coming back to haunt you at a time when unlike R.Kelly's 'Turn Back the Hands of Time' music video, you just can't. This is real life and it cuts like a knife.
"mama mama/ you know you raised me with no father figure/ I wanna take this time to thank you/ for being around"- Wycleff Jean and Bono
Though a projected love-child's anthem, the recipient of the pop lyrics is undoubtedly the mother. That woman who raises a family of six out of R350, with her pride intact like she heard 2Pac say 'Keep Ya Head Up'. This shows that you don't need a father to succeed in life, a mother alone will do.
"ain't no woman alive that can take my mama's place/..even as a crack fiend mama/ you always was a black queen mama"- Tupac Shakur
Probably by far the best words any mother can hear coming from her child. Still not putting women down, they epitomise a mother's love to something that can be mortally touched and caressed. No wonder rumour has it that Tupac's mother, Afeni still sheds tears listening to the song, eleven years since her son died.
"mama/ I didn't mean to make you cry/ mama/ I don't wanna die/ I sometimes with I'd never been born at all"- The Braids.
This remake of Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is characterised by self-pitying which's depth drowns the sentimental message behind the well-written lyrics. But it's the chaos that go with it that makes people put their mothers where they belong, the Alpha and Omega of their existence. And their plea to them to spare their tears for happenings worth deserving of them (tears).
"mama, I just want you to know/ loving you is like food to my soul"- Boyz to Men
This is way too flattering and nearly Oedipus complexion idolizing. It's the words you mama observes by your everyday conduct, but still they have to be uttered by you to her. You know when times are tough you normally yell "mom", so make yourself the child she calls her name when disaster strikes.
Finally, go get an old copy of the Blackstreet stellar record. Skip to the Interlude and absorb the telephone answering machine messages. "I know one day you will be back home after you finish singing this rock and roll…Always remember to do good, do right and be brave". That's a mother to a child, and that's your mother to you.
You've now taken a cue at how to be good, but don't you ever get tired of celebrities in some glossies telling you what they will be doing for their mothers? You must be, because we all know yuppies lie all the time. If still in doubt, buy Sundayworld this coming Sunday and find out what they claim they will be doing for their moms. Now for you to do.
How many of you out there actually do ask their mothers what their fears are? Maybe you falling victim to drugs or AIDS is her biggest fear. She won't tell you unless you ask her. Maybe she's afraid of dying while you're still young.
How many of you know how your mother and father met? I can assure you that it can be one of the best epics she's ever told you. With you encouraging her to open up might inform her that you're now mature enough to can be trusted with bigger secrets.
Some of you don't know the time that you were born at. Whether it was raining or warm. Take your mother to task and make her be a good mother and tell you.
If you are a love-child, it's about time you set free the secret that your mother has been keeping for all those years. Liberate her and ask her what happened between your prodigal son-of-a-bitch father and her. If she refuses to tell you because she was responsible, she's not worthy of you as her love-child.
Your mother misses being told that you love her. Young people in this millenium and yonder are not expected to be shy. Come on, go ahead and shock her, spread love and see your mother shed a tear of happiness as she envelopes you in her warm embrace.
Some young people would like to know what they could (materially) do for their mothers. Do nothing, it's all cliched. Just be there for her and swear to her that you'll never leave her. You'll always be a phone call away.
Forget cards and everything else, those are just a commercial celebration of your love to your mother. Just make her happy.
PS: Yodemo brought to my attention the following message;
Ek se, checka mo. This has infuriated me as much as farm killings infuriate farmers. Since we are from the kasie, we are definitely sons and relatives of domestic workers. Is this the way that we still handle domestic workers who refuse to have sex with us? Please let us become real activists with serious convictions.
Check the sickening story that started it all.
It had me wondering what has happened to the heart of the Afrikaner? Where are the farmers' unions that are so vocal when a mad darkie kills a farmer and rapes its wife? Where are all the white people who claim to be liberals and are quick to remind us that their parents never supported apartheid? Where are the black people of this country because if this story happened the other way round we would have lots of white people calling for harsher sentences against criminals and threatening to leave for Australia? Where are the white people who are quick to denounce crime and what are they saying about this? Where are the trade union movements that are quick to pronounce who should be the next president of the country while they are silent when workers (who they claim to represent) are killed? Where is the African National Congress that was voted into power by so many people? Where is the Democratic Alliance that says it cares about all people? What has happened to the people of this country who are only united when they watch cricket and rugby and when they condemn Baby Jordan killer Dina Rodriguez but are suddenly silent because a black domestic worker was killed? Does this mean that we'll have etv in court only when Zuma and Dina Rodriguez are the accused and nobody when a black woman is murdered? Why should someone be proud to be South African when this country, its people, leaders, blacks, whites, trade unions and media are so full of shit?

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